Re dating

AskWomen: Questions about women's thoughts, lives, and experiences

2010.07.17 02:42 Impudence AskWomen: Questions about women's thoughts, lives, and experiences

AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit.

2013.08.22 18:58 ripster55 A place for mature women redditors

A place for women redditors aged 30 and over to discuss questions in a loosely moderated setting.

2009.02.26 20:08 Childfree

Discussion and links of interest to childfree individuals. "Childfree" refers to those who do not have and do not ever want children (whether biological, adopted, or otherwise).

2020.12.04 11:44 Prace_Ace Showerthought: If Wild Mode was actually more expensive to play than Standard Mode, Blizzard would heavily advertize it.

You're met with a somewhat high entry fee to craft all the necessary epic and legendary cards (which does also apply to Standard Mode with the must-haves in that mode), but you don't have to always buy a lot of new packs all the time to be up to date, making it soooo much cheaper than Standard in the long run.
submitted by Prace_Ace to hearthstone [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:38 FemBlkBoi 22 dating someone long distance *advice needed*

So I am a 22-year-old freshman in college, in northern Texas. It’s been about two months since I started dating this guy. We’ve only been official for like two days now. But I want to know if I’m moving too fast. We had a conversations about moving together earlier in our dating phase. he brought it up But the connection honestly is there. I like him a lot, and he likes me a lot and we connect really well, I feel like I’ve known him my whole life honestly. So we had the move in conversation today. Which I’m not gonna lie I was kind of excited for; maybe too excited? The plan was to move in with each other whenever he finishes college in Spring, and I’ll be starting my sophomore year of college. We were looking at apartments with each other. He later went to work, and he got off and he told me that he wants to wait until he’s financially stable before we make this decision. We see each other every week or every other week. I am scared that since I was the one carrying the conversation more about the situation, I’m wondering if I probably scared him. It’s like during this whole quarantine obviously I’ve been kind of lonely and he has too and we want to be around each other all the time but we live two hours apart. Also the area that we are planning on moving to would be an hour away from home. * I have never moved out of my hometown before * The distance didn’t bother me at first but now that we’re official I do wish I could see him more. I know this is lot of rambling but I think I’m just nervous. Am I messing us up? He told me that I am might be jumping the gun a little fast but, he understood because my current living situation isn’t the hottest.
Thx in advance for any tips, and advise. 😅
submitted by FemBlkBoi to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:38 tonysaccount1 Future Proof WFH Computer For My Parents

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars:
submitted by tonysaccount1 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:34 sensual_sloths Mom, I know 2020 isn't the best, but something exciting finally happened; and I'm exicted to go forward.

I was unhappy in a relationship for four out of six years, mom. I can pinpoint when I should've left, and I didn't. I suffered terrible therapy with a therapist who invalidated my sexuality in an attempt to make things "better", a partner who constantly compared me to their ex, and other things. Ironically, he left me at the worst time and moved in with (and might've been cheating on me with), someone who I thought was my best friend.
This all happened in June/July suddenly. Because of the pandemic, I couldn't move in with family - I work healthcare and didn't want to be selfish. So, I stayed in an apartment with too many unhappy memories. He also took 80% of the furniture, despite me making substantially less than him, because he wanted to save all his money for a house he secretly wanted to buy before dumping me. I wish I was kidding, mom.
Today I asked out someone I've known for years on a whim, and learned he's liked me too! He was just too shy to say something.
We're meeting up for coffee (to go, since things are closed), and going to a park on a walk for our date. Mom, I'm so excited. I was so nervous to try dating again especially in a pandemic, but...I can do this.
I'm not going to be scared again, mom. I'm not going to settle for being constantly compared to someone else - because I'm me.
submitted by sensual_sloths to MomForAMinute [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:33 Hopelessly-Hopeful1 No Hauntings Allowed

You can't do this to me anymore. You have taken up too much of my time and head space, B_____. It's not fair that you sent that email. You're dating now, or at least you wanted to. Stay out of my thoughts. Leave my head space now, beautiful man. You can't haunt my castle or my ship or my harbor anymore. Take your lovely art and go.
submitted by Hopelessly-Hopeful1 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:32 viv221 Anxiety about GF's Polyamory Confession

Hey all. Sorry for the long post but this is a rather unique situation. TL;DR is at the end but I feel context is important here. I (22f) have been with my gf (21f) for about four years now, with a gap in our relationship during our time in high school. We broke up during high school because she told me she was polyamorous, and wanted to date multiple people. I'm very monogamous, but gave it a try for her, and she proceeded to date me and her best friend at the same time. It didn't work for me, I realized I wasn't wired that way, and after some talks I broke up with her. I loved her more than anything and I never doubted her love for me, but I didn't want to limit her in that way, and live dishonestly to my own values.
We reconnected during college, realized we had both grown an immense amount, and ended up getting back together and have been together now for a year since. I told her at the start I could not do a poly relationship. I am strictly monogamous, and had been cheated on by my ex gf during our broken up period. Infidelity is a subject I am very sensitive about, and polyamory/swinging/goodwifing/whatever will never been in the cards for me. She agreed that this relationship would be monogamous, and we genuinely have an incredible romantic/sexual connection together. She sees us together long term to the point of marriage and so do I, and she's wonderful to me.
For the last year or so I have struggled with severe panic disorder. I have always had anxiety, but Covid, college, and growing up in general has exasperated my disorder to the point where I have to be medicated or else suffer daily debilitating panic attacks. My brain tends to perseverate on things until they are all I can think about. I am making good progress in therapy, but it's hard to get an outside view on something you experience every day.
Basically, I have been struggling to let go of my gf's polyamory. I have been up front with her about this and told her that in order to feel safe in a relationship, I need monogamy, and that the idea of our relationship changing into a poly one frightens me to my core. To which she replied that she can't control her romantic or sexual feelings towards other people, but that I mean enough to her that she is willing to be monogamous for me. She values a relationship with me over being poly, and if she ever were to feel differently, she would tell me and would never cheat on me. I trust her completely.
Being cheated on by my last gf (not her, the girl I dated during the time we were separated) destroyed my self esteem. I wasn't in the wrong, but I felt like I wasn't good enough. Now that I'm with my current gf, I am left wondering how I could be good enough. She has expressed that yes, I am limiting her and yes, she is committing to a long term relationship way younger than she expected. She planned on spending her late teens and early twenties dating around and sexually free. I did interrupt her college plans for sure. But we met at the perfect time for both of us and have never been happier. She has assured me of this time and time again. And yet I can't let go of the toxic idea that I'm limiting her, and that she's somehow "faking it", or planning to cheat if I'm no longer enough. How could I be worth more than the freedom to date anyone she wants? I know this is attributed at least partially to my panic disorder, and to having been cheated on in the past. I am insecure and anxious about my own self worth because I don't feel confident I can be "enough" forever.
I don't know how to conquer this self-loathing and insecurity. I have enough to do in therapy re:panic disorder without adding relationship counseling to it. I am told time and time again by my gf that I am enough, we are safe, and our relationship is monogamous. But because of her being poly and because I have been cheated on in the past, I can't find it within myself to be secure in all of that. Is there anyone who has dealt with a similar situation of an "ex-poly" partner and facing insecurities relating to that? Or anyone who has dealt with not feeling like "enough" in general? I love my gf with all my heart and she makes me feel so loved. I don't want my insecurities and fears to build to a breaking point. We are still very young, and I am hoping with time I will learn that I am enough and I had nothing to worry about, but right now I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop. Our powerful sexual and romantic compatibility make me optimistic, but I still have this self loathing cloud hanging above my head.
TL;DR I am monogamous, reconnected with GF in college who was polyamorous during high school. She assures me she wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship with me, marry me, etc, but due to my own insecurities/anxieties I have trouble believing I am worth her giving up a poly lifestyle to be with me. Our relationship is strong but I don't want my anxieties to build to a breaking point.
submitted by viv221 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:32 monusutaanguyen835 Looking for my first PC in South Korea

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars: * I can assemble the PC my self. * I truly appreciate who will take their time to build this for me. Thanks a lot.
submitted by monusutaanguyen835 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:31 214m Considering divorce

Considering divorce.
I (M,28) need help deciding if my relationship with my wife (23) should continue. TLDR at the bottom.
My wife and I started out as dating soulmates. However, looking back I now know I ignored red flags. These included a history of promiscuous behavior (not a major problem for me on its own), family issues, friends that turned enemies, impulsiveness, rudeness, lack of empathy, victim complex, excessive loathing of everyday responsibilities, aggressive behavior with females, illogical thinking, twisting narratives during arguments, dramatically escalating trivial events.. etc. This wasn’t all of the time but way more than normal. It all only increased after we got married.
At the same time the highs were so great. We had a passionate love life, shared interests, loved spending time together, amazing trips to new places, she helped me land a great career, we were best friends and still are. We’re always together outside of work. This is the first relationship that gave me such highs.
After we got married things started to go south in a hurry. We would intensely argue over the smallest things. I would constantly swallow my pride and apologize for something I knew wasn’t my fault. I’m talking about accidentally spilling a few drops of water on the carpet, forgetting where I left my keys momentarily, not driving like a maniac (yes you read that right), and even asking her to not be rude to me was an issue that turned into her “not being able to express herself”. I would of course apologize. It was a vicious cycle that I somehow got used to. Slowly but surely she was either consciously or subconsciously manipulating me into a submissive role as a husband. It would only get tragically worse. The rest of this story is why I’m here...
We ended up buying a puppy. My wife’s version of discipline was very upsetting to me (beating) and I tried to take a stand on multiple occasions. This would result in explosive arguments where I would be accused of caring more for a dog than her. I wasn’t having it and wouldn’t back down. She would threaten to leave me and once even went as far as driving away with me begging her not to. She came back and I.. apologized. It was pathetic of me. I know that now and I hate myself for it everytime I remember.
Fast forward a few months and I’m at work when I get upsetting texts from her about her “disciplining the dog”. Included were pictures of a clearly abused puppy that upset me to the core and I snapped back at my wife. I told her our relationship wasn’t working and that I needed time to think. In that moment the rage inside of me wasn’t just toward her. It was even more so against myself for allowing her to treat our puppy that way and ultimately being a coward. There was a moment of absolute clarity that brought me to understand the entirety of my emotionally abusive relationship. I read her new texts as they came in. All of them about me “choosing an animal over her” and “see I told you so many times you would leave me” (this was one of the red flags I mentioned above. Insecurities that included a fear of abandonment). I didn’t care anymore. I was done.
I’m still at work when I get a phone call. I ignore it but she keeps calling. I angrily answer with the intent to tell her to not call me anymore but she’s crying hysterically and begging me not to hangup. She says our puppy is unresponsive and she’s taking him to the vet. I immediately fly off the handle calling her an abusive bitch and whatever else I could think of. She keeps crying hysterically apologizing profusely and saying I was right since the beginning to not discipline the puppy that way. She begs me not to leave her.. etc. I’m beyond upset and hangup disgusted with myself over taking so much bullshit for so long that it got my puppy hurt.
Later, when I get home she tells me she just left him at the vet because she couldn’t take the pain of hurting him. She told the vet she found him and was just dropping him off. I was furious to say the least. I yell at her for the address but she begs me not to go. I repeatedly ask why and she finally says it. “He didn’t make it”. I feel of sense of overwhelming despair. I ball my eyes out on the floor. I loved that puppy. I was just playing with him before I went to work and now he was gone. I fall asleep on the floor a while later in tears.
When I woke up I decided my wife was a sick person and I would take her to see a psychiatrist to find out what was so wrong with her. I delivered this news to her as an ultimatum knowing she would do whatever she needed to not lose me. It was a lie on my part. I had no intention to stay married. I just needed her cooperation to get to the psychiatrist. I wanted answers. I took her to the best doctor I could find.
Right away I could tell this DR was very good. She did a 2 hour initial visit with my wife and illuminated so much. My wife was physically and sexually abused as a young girl and ultimately her mother abandoned her. Her dad had divorced her mom shortly after she was born but now had gained custody. There was no more of the abuse above however, he verbally abused her from time to time. My wife told the psychiatrist every painful detail of her upbringing. I was skeptical going in that she would make up an exaggerated story to gain sympathy from the DR but that didn’t happen. The story rang true to my ears and I wasn’t in the fog of emotional abuse anymore. On this you just have to trust me I suppose. She described exactly what happened with the puppy that got him killed and I was horrified. He wasn’t completely potty trained yet and my wife just lost it when he peed on the couch she just bought. Beat him to death. She described going into a rage she never felt before and a part of her memory from the event was missing. “A black spot”.
She wasn’t always abusive to the dog and I know she deeply adored him. She bought him clothes and treats and took many pics of them together to post on social Media. I could see the deep sense of guilt in her eyes and it made me nauseous. It was all so emotionally overwhelming. It still is really.
I continued to live with my wife because she was going to need more visits with the DR before getting to the bottom of everything. For many weeks, not a day went by where she wasn’t in an absolute state of devastation. I had an exit plan. Wait for a diagnosis and treatment plan that would set my wife on track to hopefully live a better life. Time went on and the DR gave her a diagnosis of BPD, antisocial, depression, and severe anxiety. After working through her childhood upbringing the DR determined that my wife’s family most likely had a history of the same disorders on both sides. She prescribed medications and a plan for more therapy sessions.
We are now at the present day. My wife has been doing amazing on medications and therapy. No more mood swings or depression. Even keeled and dare I say a very pleasant personality. She’s done a complete 180 and been this way for months now. Its the girl I met before getting married and I can’t help but have developed feelings again. she relies on me heavily for getting through all of this and I feel guilty about still thinking I should leave, despite my feelings returning and her incredible improvement. To make matters even more complicated, Her DR specifically said that my wife’s prognosis is very good and that she’s seen many worse cases that ended in a removal of diagnosis. Many of them raising healthy families.
I still see red flags occasionally. They are no where near as bad as before but still concern me. She is very worried about the possibility of postpartum depression. She wants to have kids but wants more time for therapy. I respect her for this but my issue is I don’t know if I could ever trust her in a motherly role anyway. Also I’m 28 going on 29 and she’s 23. She naturally isn’t in as much of a hurry (for lack of a better term) as I am. Not that I’m in a hurry to impregnate her. I’m more so considering me possibly wasting my time that could be spent dating someone maybe more compatible.
Please help walk me through my options and what you think is best. I’m lost and turning to you all for help.
TLDR; Wife and I started out as dating soulmates. Got married and the relationship turned emotionally abusive against me, culminating in her beating our puppy to death. She was devastated by what happened and agreed to see a psychiatrist. My plan was to leave her after she was stable and properly diagnosed. Psychiatrist diagnosed her with BPD, depression, severe anxiety, and antisocial disorder stemming from a physically and sexually abusive childhood that included her mother abandoning her. She is doing amazing with therapy and meds but I don’t know if I can trust her in the future with kids. DR gave her a good prognosis for possible removal of diagnosis in the future. I’m struggling with the thought of leaving my wife at a time when she needs me.
Thanks ahead of time everyone. I’m sorry the story is so upsetting. I came here because I’m not sure I’m seeing the situation clearly or if I’m still in a fog of abuse. I don’t think I’m in a fog but I need help.
submitted by 214m to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:30 wretchedbastard I need help. Please read if possible.

If you’re willing to give this a quick read and share any advice or perspective I would deeply appreciate it.
A bit of background: my girlfriend (24) and I (25) have been together for 4 years, living together for half of that. We’re f*ckin solid, shes my best, and often, only friend.
We went on an extremely special date a few years ago and Absolutely out of the blue she told me that she kissed one of our mutual friends right before we started dating/were talking. It stung and was really fucking weird/hurtful to randomly bring up but I let it slide because it was before we were official.
Forward to this last Thanksgiving night. It was a wonderful day that we spent alone together, absolutely perfect. We both got wine drunk and then stoned and crashed into bed where she randomly looked me DEAD in the eyes and said “I cheated on you in 2017”, rolled over and passed out. I didn’t sleep that night and haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night since. I confronted her what she said and she told me that she was just off her meds and was making a joke. A joke. Haha. I then told her how scared I’ve always been about her cheating due to my past and the fact that she kissed our friend (during a time I interpreted as being exclusive). She fucking denied ever telling me that she kissed our friend.
I’ve been extremely susceptible to gaslighting in the past and I’m horrified that this is what’s happening here because she’s in denial. I can’t eat. My senior finals are next week. I’m in a state of shock still that I can’t shake... which is horrific timing.
If you’re still with me, thank you for reading this far. I have no one to talk to about this and I’m legit losing my mind/grip on personal reality lol
submitted by wretchedbastard to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:28 whoop-there_it_is Please could you help me build my brother a PC for his uni course and for photo editing?

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
He needs to run ArcGIS Pro software for uni. He also edits photos with Lightroom and Photoshop (he's said ideally he'd like to have both running at the same time) He also does some light gaming.
ArcGIS Pro 2.6 system requirements are available here:
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
£833 (+20% Uk VAT to make £1k) including shipping.
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
I'll be building it the week after Christmas, but can order the parts immediately.
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Just the crate and OS
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
Purchasing in the UK, I'll need it delivered to Somerset
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
I don't currently have an answer to this, may scrounge or buy separately (a recommendation's regarding a nice colour-accurate monitor for under £250 would be appreciated)
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Not planning to overclock as don't think it will be necessary
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
And SSD but doesn't need to be large, 500gb if there's enough budget for this.
What type of network connectivity do you need? (Wired and/or WiFi) If WiFi is needed and you would like to find the fastest match for your wireless router, please list any specifics.
Probably just wifi, don't have any details on this, sorry!
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
I think just a basic sleek look, focusing on the internal components would be the best option for him.
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Yes - Windows 10 (home) is a must
Extra info or particulars: Thanks for any help with this! I'm computer savvy but this will be my first build, so any and all advice is much appreciated. I want to help him build this at Christmas before his course starts in January. Merry Christmas!
submitted by whoop-there_it_is to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:28 Frankenstein9226 Kind of annoying

I’m all cool with flirting it’s fun honestly it’s like let’s see how far I can go with this. But if you have a girlfriend don’t asking me out hypothetically, don’t text me asking if I miss her or not, don’t flirt with me honestly because if I ask you out and you say no then 2 things either put really want attention or you’re playing games honestly both are annoying. By the way this girl has dated other guys but has always told me they never appreciated her so now she is with a girl. So in my head I think are you into me or just just acting like a little girl who needs attention I’m not down with that. Always be up front about everything. Just my opinion bi girls are difficult.
submitted by Frankenstein9226 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:27 DeutschesOstpreussen Summary Ban Appeal [constitutional] Amendment 2020

Whereas, with regard to the recent Supreme Court judgement of Reference re Length of Summary Bans, [32][33][44] and most importantly [50];
Whereas, not a single summary ban case, despite supposedly needing judicial review, has gone to court, despite also that the person subject to the summary ban has clearly expressed that they wish for the ban to be appealed;
Hereby proposes the following amendment of the Constitution and of the Courtroom Procedures Act in order to formalise the procedure of a summary ban appeal.

Amend Article 18 of the Constitution:
§7. The above does not apply to a case of ToS violation, in which case the appropiate government organs have the right to ban without trial in response to a ToS violation or to prevent with reasonable suspicion a ToS violation.
§7.1 Any citizen of SimDemocracy may petition the Supreme Court to review the situation around the summary ban in a summary ban appeal trial. The offender may not be unbanned during this trial, but if the Judiciary finds that the person on balance of probabilities did not commit a ToS violation, the person shall be unbanned. However, section §6 shall not apply to any crimes possibly committed during the alleged ToS violation.
Corresponding amendment to the Courtroom Procedures Act:
Part 04 Summary Ban Appeal Article
  1. Provisions of a Summary Ban
§1 Summary Ban Appeal shall refer to the process which commences upon filing of a petition to review circumstances by a citizen of SimDemocracy and ending upon a court verdict or withdrawal of the petition.
§2 Summary Ban Appeals shall be recorded by the Court Records Keeper using the format "SD v. [Defendant] [P][Petitioner] [Year] [SBA][x] where x is the number of the summary ban appeal case for that year.
§3. The defendant shall be the person who was subject to a ToS summary ban.
§4. The petitioner shall be the citizen who submits the petition of appeal to the Judiciary.
§5. The prosecution shall be the representative of the state who has executed the summary ban.
§6. The summary ban appeal shall begin with a petition from a citizen of SimDemocracy submitted to the subreddit.
§6.1 The petition shall contain sufficient information to identify the defendant, as well as enough evidence to constitute reasonable doubt that the defendant has committed a ToS violation.
§6.2 The petition may be withdrawn at any time by the petitioner.
§7 After a petition has been filed, the judge shall issue a summons to the prosecution if they deem that there is reasonable doubt that the incident did not constitute a ToS violation. The summons shall contain the date of the trial and the summary ban appeal filed.
§7.1 If the judge feels that there is no sufficient doubt that the action was not a ToS violation, they can throw out the case. The petitioner is not allowed to re-petition the same incident of summary ban.
§8 All petitioners shall be entitled to a public defender assigned randomly by the State out of a pool of willing and certified attorneys. Public defenders shall represent the defendant in the case they have been assigned to.
§8.1 If no certified attorney volunteers a State Attorney shall represent them instead.
§9. All public defenders are entitled to a compensation of 1000τ if they represent the defendant in the appeal. This will be paid for by the State of SimDemocracy.
§9.1 The Judge presiding over a case may void or alter this compensation if the public defender has conducted themselves inappropriately and/or failed to represent the defendant to the best of their ability.
Article 15 Summary Ban Appeal trial
§1 The trial shall take place in a public courtroom on the discord between 24 and 600 hours after the summons issued by the judge.
§2 The appeal trial shall proceed as follows:
§2.1 The prosecution shall make the opening statement, followed by the representative of the defendant/petitioner;
§2.2 The representative of the defendant/petitioner shall present each piece of relevant evidence regarding the incident.
§2.3 The prosecution shall cross-examine each piece of evidence.
§2.4 The prosecution shall present each piece of evidence relevant to the incident.
§2.5 The representative of the defendant/petitioner shall cross examine each piece of evidence.
§2.6 The prosecution shall make the closing statement, followed by the representative of the defendant/petitioner.
§2.7 The judge shall declare the trial to be over.
§2.8 Afterwards, the judge shall have 72 hours to deliver the verdict on the balance of probabilities, whether the defendant has in fact committed a ToS violation.
§2.8.1 If the defendant is found to have committed a ToS violation, the defendant shall remain banned.
§2.8.2 If the defendant is found to have not committed a ToS violation, the defendant shall be unbanned, unless the prosecution enters a motion to keep the defendant banned in the interest of public safety and the judge approves it. Acts committed by the defendant during the ToS violation are liable to further criminal prosecution.
§3. Should a party find new evidence during the trial that they consider to be vital to their case, they shall have the opportunity to enter a motion for recess on the grounds of new information.
§3.1. Recess on the grounds of new information shall take a minimum of 8 hours, with a maximum of 24.
submitted by DeutschesOstpreussen to SimDemocracy [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:27 WolfieWIMK23 I don't know how to ask this.

Hey I'm (22m) and honestly I'm stuck.
I just need advice. Why can't I hold a romantic relationship longer than four months. Like no shit the longest one I had was 2 years but that one is a long story and I wish to forget that part of my life. (tried to post about it years ago but reddit wouldn't allow me kind of bad).
Honestly I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I'm doing right. Don't get me wrong I can talk to strangers easily and have long conversations and get numbers easily. I'm good on that front It just maintaining the relationship, I'm over just being someone's fling.
I don't know if I'm too forward with them or not, I'm comfortable being myself in front of people, I'm patient with them, wouldn't do anything they not comfortable with nor do things I'm not comfortable with (trust me that list is short but still boundaries are there and im not afraid to try new things) also I don't want to rush things. I like getting to know them. I like knowing people. It's actually rear for me not to like someone. Yah I have one expectation when talking/dating someone.. just be yourself. It's so weird thou because people make me feel like I'm asking to much from them.
Look I know I'm young but I want to have the boring long term relationship with someone. The one where you guys have been together so long that you can easily spice up the relationship whenever you want. The one where you are safe to be vulnerable with your partner. The one you're able to talk to your partner.
Whirlwind relationships ain't fun and I've had a few of those. They break down faster than anything. Honestly those relationships end up scaring people off. Another thing I'm friends with both sexes. Honestly my friends have seen me in some funny positions and know I'm a little meschivious. (Ask my bestie, I almost made him a male stripper one night. His girlfriend wasn't happy with me that's for sure 😂😂😂 that's another long story. Hey I gave a girl mate of mine a lap dance I ain't afraid to admit that.) but the thing is I love them as friends to much to ruin that. I literally always end up being the gay bestfriend that ain't gay (actually bi). One of my friends said its good to be friends first but that stumps me too.
Honestly I just need advice.
Ps I don't need a relationship, I hate co-dependent relationships. I like my partner to feel free, I like to feel free that doesn't mean I'm not loyal. I want to add to someone's like and for them to add to mine. And I'm not afraid to be alone either. I actually like my own company. I actually love myself too (not narcissistically) Sorry for the long post I'm just someone that's very much an open book and have a habit of word vomiting my thoughts when something confuses me.
TL:DR. I don't know how to keep a romantic relationship for more than 4 months and don't want to ruin the friendships I already have and hold dear. Losing them would hurt more. Want a long term partner and just asking for others advice or what works for them.
Just got to add to this. I've been single for a year now. Enjoying the single life but I just want advice for the future. But I know I ain't the only one that goes through this so thank you if you read all of this.
submitted by WolfieWIMK23 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:25 ezgifistikcioglu Integrate HMS Scan Kit to Flutter Projects and Make a Flight Ticket App

Integrate HMS Scan Kit to Flutter Projects and Make a Flight Ticket App
Learn how to create a flight ticket app that includes the Huawei Scan Kit using the Flutter SDK.


In this article, I am going to be doing a flight ticket barcode scanning and barcode creation application with Flutter. We will be looking at some of the APIs that Huawei Scan Kit provides and learn how to use them in our flight ticket projects.

Huawei Scan Kit

HUAWEI Scan Kit scans and parses all major 1D and 2D barcodes and generates QR codes, helping you quickly build barcode scanning functions into your apps.
Scan Kit automatically detects, magnifies, and recognizes barcodes from a distance, and is also able to scan a very small barcode in the same way. It works even in suboptimal situations, such as under dim lighting or when the barcode is reflective, dirty, blurry, or printed on a cylindrical surface.

Project Setup

HMS Integration
Firstly, you need a Huawei Developer account and add an app in Projects in AppGallery Connect console. So that you can activate the Scan kits and use it in your app. If you don’t have a Huawei Developer account and don’t know the steps please follow the links below.

Important: While adding app, the package name you enter should be the same as your Flutter project’s package name.
Note: Before you install agconnect-services.json file, make sure the required kits are enabled.


In order to make your scan work perfectly, you need to add the permissions below in AndroidManifest.xml file.

Creating Flutter Application

Add Dependencies to 'pubspec.yaml'
On your Flutter project directory find and open your pubspec.yaml file of your project and add Huawei Scan Plugin as a dependency. Run flutter pub get command to integrate Scan Plugin to your project.
There are all plugins in with the latest versions. If you downloaded the package from, specify the package in your pubspec.yaml file. Then, run flutter pub get command.

dependencies: flutter: sdk: flutter huawei_scan: ^1.2.2 
We’re done with the integration part! Now, we are ready to make our flight ticket application ✓

Make a Flight Ticket App with Flutter

Scan Screen
In this application, we are going to use two features of the Huawei Scan Kit. The first is startDefaultView and we are going to use it to scan the barcode of the tickets. The second is buildBitmap and we are going to use that to generate the ticket barcode.

Flight Ticket Scan Screen With startDefaultView

In order to scan flight ticket barcodes, we’ll call the startDefaultView method via the scanUtils class and pass the request result from the DefaultViewRequest to it. In return, this method gives us the scan response result through ScanResponse class.
Let’s create a BoardingPassParser.dart class to parse the data from the result according to flight rules. Also, let’s instance the passenger data details from the Passenger.dart class.

import 'package:fluttematerial.dart'; import 'package:hms_scan_demo/Passenger.dart'; class BoardingPassParser { Passenger parseAndGetPassengerDetail(String barcodeContent) { Passenger passenger; barcodeContent = barcodeContent.toUpperCase(); if (barcodeContent.length > 51) { if (barcodeContent.contains(".") barcodeContent.contains("/")) { if (barcodeContent.contains("/")) { barcodeContent = barcodeContent.replaceAll("/", "."); } if (barcodeContent.startsWith("Ç")) { barcodeContent = barcodeContent.replaceAll("Ç", ">"); } if (barcodeContent.startsWith("\\000010")) { barcodeContent = barcodeContent.replaceAll("\\000010", ""); } try { passenger = new Passenger(); RegExp regExp = RegExp(r'^0+(?=.)'); passenger.boardingData = barcodeContent; String formatAndNumberOfLegEncoded = barcodeContent.substring(0, 2); String nameSurname = barcodeContent.substring(2, 22).toUpperCase().trim(); if (nameSurname.contains(".")) { nameSurname = nameSurname.replaceAll(".", " "); } passenger.nameSurname = nameSurname.substring( nameSurname.indexOf(" ") + 1, nameSurname.length) + " " + nameSurname.substring(0, nameSurname.indexOf(" ")); String electronicTicketIndicator = barcodeContent.substring(22, 23); passenger.pnrCode = barcodeContent.substring(23, 30); passenger.flightFrom = barcodeContent.substring(30, 33); passenger.flightTo = barcodeContent.substring(33, 36); passenger.flightNo = barcodeContent.substring(39, 44); passenger.iataCode = barcodeContent.substring(36, 39); // piece7 String dayOfYear = barcodeContent.substring(44, 47); passenger.compartment = barcodeContent.substring(47, 48); passenger.flight = passenger.iataCode + " " + passenger.flightNo; String seatNumber = barcodeContent.substring(48, 52).trim(); seatNumber = seatNumber.replaceAll(regExp, ""); passenger.seatNo = seatNumber; passenger.flightDate = dayOfYear; if (dayOfYear.contains(" ")) { dayOfYear = dayOfYear.trim(); } passenger.flightDate = dayOfYear; } on Exception catch (ex) { passenger = null; } } else { passenger = null; if ((barcodeContent.contains("!") barcodeContent.contains("?")) barcodeContent.contains(":")) { } else { debugPrint("barcodeContent is FAIL : " + barcodeContent); } } } else { passenger = null; } return passenger; } } 

import 'package:fluttematerial.dart'; import 'package:hms_scan_demo/BoardingPassParser.dart'; import 'package:hms_scan_demo/CustomUi.dart'; import 'package:hms_scan_demo/Passenger.dart'; import 'package:huawei_scan/hmsScanUtils/DefaultViewRequest.dart'; import 'package:huawei_scan/hmsScanUtils/HmsScanUtils.dart'; import 'package:huawei_scan/model/ScanResponse.dart'; import 'package:huawei_scan/utils/HmsScanTypes.dart'; import 'DateUtils.dart'; class ScanScreen extends StatefulWidget { @override _ScanScreenState createState() => _ScanScreenState(); } class _ScanScreenState extends State { String resultSc; Passenger passenger; @override void initState() { startScan(); super.initState(); } startScan() async { DefaultViewRequest request = new DefaultViewRequest(scanType: HmsScanTypes.AllScanType); ScanResponse response = await HmsScanUtils.startDefaultView(request); String result = response.originalValue; debugPrint("Detail Scan Result: " + result.toString()); passenger = BoardingPassParser().parseAndGetPassengerDetail(result); if (passenger != null) { setUiValuesFromPassengerObjectParsedByTicket(passenger); setState(() { resultSc = result; }); } else { debugPrint("Please scan a Valid boardingPass ticket barcode!!!"); setState(() { resultSc = null; }); } } setUiValuesFromPassengerObjectParsedByTicket(Passenger passenger) { passengerNameSurnameSc = passenger.nameSurname; pnrCodeSc = passenger.pnrCode; fromCityAirportCodeSc = passenger.flightFrom; toCityAirportCodeSc = passenger.flightTo; operatingCarrierDesignatorSc = passenger.iataCode; flightNumberSc = passenger.flightNo; dayOfFlightSc = passenger.flightDate; dateFromDay = DateUtils.getDateTimeFromDayOfYear(dayOfFlightSc); compartmentClassCodeSc = passenger.compartment; seatNumberSc = passenger.seatNo; } } 
Now, that we have adjusted our scan result according to flight data, we can show it in Ui. If the barcode is not a flight ticket barcode, it’ll send us a CustomAlertDialog widget in CustomUi class.
Note: I won’t give Ui codes here as it is out of our purpose using the Huawei Scan kit. You can access all the code in the ScanScreen.dart class from Github.

Barcode Generation

One of the options that Scan Plugin provides us is the barcode generation. Generates 1D or 2D barcodes.
Firstly, we’ll ask the user to enter content that complies with the flight ticket rules. Here, we’ll convert the data received in the form of “day of year” into yyyy/MM/dd. And finally, we’ll call the buildBitmap API in the HmsScanUtils class with the BuildBitmapRequest object.

Image _image = new Image.asset('barcode.png'); String scanTypeValue = 'QRCode'; String airlineIata = "PC"; String flightFrom = "SAW"; String flightTo = "TZX"; String compartmentCode = "Y"; String barcodeContentManually = ""; BuildBitmapRequest bitmapRequest; int scanTypeValueFromDropDown = HmsScanTypes.QRCode; import 'package:fluttematerial.dart'; import 'package:flutteservices.dart'; import 'package:huawei_scan/HmsScanLibrary.dart'; import 'CustomUi.dart'; import 'DateUtils.dart'; import 'Utils.dart'; //M1DONMEZ.MUSTAFAISMAILEX89CCB SAWTZXPC 2832 312Y026F0058 100 final TextEditingController contentController = TextEditingController(); final TextEditingController surnameController = TextEditingController(text: "DONMEZ"); final TextEditingController nameController = TextEditingController(text: "MUSTAFA ISMAIL"); final TextEditingController flightNumberController = TextEditingController(text: "2822"); final TextEditingController selectedDateController = TextEditingController(text: "2020-10-25"); DateTime selectedDateTime = DateUtils.getTodayDateTime(); final TextEditingController seatNumberController = TextEditingController(text: "026F"); final TextEditingController pnrCodeController = TextEditingController(text: "X89CCB"); final TextEditingController sequenceNumberController = TextEditingController(text: "0058"); // Get Ui TextEditingController contents BuildBitmapRequest getContentDetail(String barcodeContent) { barcodeContent = contentController.text; bitmapRequest = BuildBitmapRequest(content: barcodeContent); bitmapRequest.type = scanTypeValueFromDropDown; String surname = surnameController.text; String name = nameController.text; String pnrNo = pnrCodeController.text; String flightNo = flightNumberController.text; String flightDate = selectedDateController.text; String seatNumber = seatNumberController.text; String sequenceNumber = sequenceNumberController.text; // Validation must not be null if (surname.isEmpty name.isEmpty pnrNo.isEmpty flightNo.isEmpty flightDate.isEmpty seatNumber.isEmpty surname.isEmpty sequenceNumber.isEmpty) { bitmapRequest = null; } else { if ((surname.length + name.length) > 18) { if (surname.length > 9) { surname = surname.substring(0, 9); } if (name.length > 9) { name = name.substring(0, 9); } } //Create content suitable for flight tickets with barcodeContentManually barcodeContentManually = "M1" + surname + "/" + name; while (barcodeContentManually.length < 22) { barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + " "; } barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + "E"; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + pnrNo + " "; if (airlineIata.length == 2) { airlineIata = airlineIata + " "; } barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + flightFrom + flightTo + airlineIata; while (flightNo.length < 4) { flightNo = "0" + flightNo; } if (flightNo.length == 4) { flightNo = flightNo + " "; } // Transform date to dayOfYear flightDate = DateUtils.getDayOfYearFromDateTime(selectedDateTime); barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + flightNo; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + flightDate; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + compartmentCode; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + seatNumber; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + sequenceNumber + " "; barcodeContentManually = barcodeContentManually + " 10"; bitmapRequest.content = barcodeContentManually; // debugPrint("******* barcodeContentManually : " + barcodeContentManually.toString()); return bitmapRequest; } } 
  • callDatePicker

String flightDate = selectedDateController.text; DateTime selectedDateTime = DateUtils.getTodayDateTime(); // Show date picker in the ui. void callDatePicker() async { selectedDateTime = await DateUtils.getDatePickerDialog(context); selectedDateController.text = selectedDateTime.toString().substring(0, 10); setState(() {}); } 

import 'package:huawei_scan/HmsScanLibrary.dart'; import 'CustomUi.dart'; Image _image = new Image.asset('barcode.png'); BuildBitmapRequest bitmapRequest; generateBarcode() async { //Constructing request object with contents from getContentDetail. bitmapRequest = getContentDetail(barcodeContentManually); if (bitmapRequest == null) { ShowMyDialog.showCustomDialog(context, "INFORMATION VALIDATION ERROR ", "You should input properly values for flight and passenger information"); _image = null; } else { Image image; try { //Call buildBitmap API with request object. image = await HmsScanUtils.buildBitmap(bitmapRequest); } on PlatformException catch (err) { debugPrint(err.details); } _image = image; } setState(() {}); }


In this article, you learned how you can integrate the HMS Scan Kit with your Flutter projects. We saw, how we can easily use the services such as scanning and barcode generation provided by the Scan kit in your applications, it is time to explore other Huawei kits. I leave a few links below for this and finally, you can find the github link I used for Ui design in the references section. This design was really enjoyable.🎉
I hope I was helpful, thank you for reading this article.


submitted by ezgifistikcioglu to HMSCore [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:25 pregnology Holiday Shopping Guide for Pregnant Ladies

Holiday Shopping Guide for Pregnant Ladies
The happiest and the most beautiful time of the year is quickly approaching, and so is the holiday gift shopping. Unfortunately, due to the whole world pandemic, this year’s Holiday Shopping will be a little different: full of restrictions, masks, and the hand sanitizer’s smell.
We know it can seem a bit overwhelming, planning to shop for gifts or find the best deals while your baby is nearing her due date. But, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Turn on some holiday music, pull out some comfortable cute leggings and oversized sweaters, grab some healthy snacks and a cup of hot cocoa - and enjoy the wonderful holiday atmosphere while we offer you a 2020 holiday shopping game plan:

Have a Detailed Plan

During this pandemic, try to minimize your trips to the store as much as you can, but in case you prefer physical stores - make sure you time your shopping trip for a day and time that has very low traffic. Consider going early in the day, since aisles tend to be less crowded, and stores are at their cleanest right after opening. HINT: Many stores are offering special hours for older and immunocompromised customers, so, you might as well consider shopping during these hours.

Wear a Mask

Make sure you do not forget to grab a mask when leaving your house. It will add an extra level of protection and ensure you shop in a healthy environment.

Follow the Restrictions

You know how it works from now on. Wash your hands thoroughly before and after you shop. Try to minimize touching the products from the shelves - touch only the items you intend to buy. Since many stores are offering wipes for shopping cart handles, make sure to use these to disinfect it. And do not forget! Maintain the physical distance between yourself and the other shoppers, as well as store workers.

Use a Holiday Shopping List

One of the best and most useful holiday shopping tips is to prepare a detailed shopping list in advance to avoid buying too many presents or not getting enough. Organize your list by grocery section: pajamas, socks, household items, and so on, so that you can move swiftly through each section of the store. Because getting gifts for everyone in your network of family and friends can lead to big holiday spreading, being organized will help you save time and enjoy the process.

Follow Retailers on Social Media

Following your favorite retailers on social media will allow you to get many exclusive deals and coupons they usually offer during the holiday shopping season. In addition to saving your time, you might get some great sales on products you’ve been looking for for a long time. Go check out their Facebook or Instagram profiles and enjoy the extra saving opportunities.

Online Research

In case you’re wondering how to save money on holiday shopping, make sure you do your research online before you buy gifts. Check out online reviews of products to decide if they’re worth the price. You might even want to consider going with last year’s model or products if they offer the same value as newer models.

Take Advantage of the Sales

As we mentioned before, many sites are already offering excellent deals and coupons, so you’ll want to make the most of them, Take your time browsing and bookmarking your favorite online shops to see if you can score better deals elsewhere for specific items. You’ll save and get more for your money, the people in your life will be happy and most importantly, your wallet will thank you later!
As you enjoy the holiday preparation and gift wrapping, remember to stay healthy and get the best out of this wonderful time in your life!
submitted by pregnology to u/pregnology [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:25 IdiotsLantern What your mtg husbando/waifu says about you

This is some truly cursed content, nobody should read this. I wrote it at 1am on my phone. I make bad decisions I should just delete this oh nooo
Jace - your first date is putting together a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Don’t bother asking if he’d like to try an escape room. He’s done them all already.
Chandra - your first date is laser tag, motocross track, and breaking and entering, not necessarily in that order.
Nissa - your first date is getting up at 3am for a sunrise hike in the woods ending with a picnic you are too tired to eat. Have ended friendships over the fervent belief that ranchers are scum and anyone who wants to shoot a wolf should be fed to it.
Gideon - your first date is surprise tickets to that concert you’ve been so excited about! He didn’t tell you he’s also bringing six of his buddies. He assumed you’d be cool with that.
Liliana - your first date can only be at the most expensive restaurant in town (you’re paying).
Taimyo- your first date involves sitting and reading quietly for several hours.
Garruk - Your first date involves finding something small and helpless and killing it. You are on the Paleo diet. You don’t believe in soap.
Teferi - time itself slows down to get a better look at the Coolest Cat in the multiverse. you’re only human. It’s ok.
Ajani - it took you years to understand WHY you felt a certain way about the cast of Disney’s “Robin Hood.” Then you saw Zootopia and you finally got it.
Vraska - you liked the Pirates of the Carribean sequels and never miss a chance to talk about the coming people’s revolution!
Nahiri - You believe there is no more magnetic force in the multiverse then a woman who is just 10000% FED UP
Sorin - you like anime wall scrolls and own a Katana. Also there was a time when you wore black trench coats almost exclusively
Nicol Bolas - treat me badly, daddy
submitted by IdiotsLantern to mtgvorthos [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:25 SkeleIsSpooky Devstream Q&A Summary 12/3/2020

Seems like no one created a summary for yesterdays Devstream, so I decided to do it at 3AM. Format might be garbage.
Devstream Q&A:
Clown Rework Teaser Shown
Devstream wrap up: Addressed that there were a slightly higher than usual amount of bugs in this full price chapter. A lot of bugs discovered that weren't addressed in their patch notes. Queen mentioned the 300k BP bribe bonus.
submitted by SkeleIsSpooky to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:24 AquaFlareZ Please Help me In Building A PC..

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
1.Gaming(Assassin Creed Odyssey,Watch Dogs Legion,GTA V,etc..)Medium Settings 1080p.. 2.Programming(Web Design,C,C++,CAD) 3.Lite Video Editing
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
1000 USD or 75000 INR
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
A Month
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
A Little OverClocking
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Good Amount of Storage,Good Cooling
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
If in Budget ATX Motherboard.. No need or RGB..
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
Extra info or particulars: 1.Cooling Should be good. 2.AirFlow Should Be More 3.Upgradable..
submitted by AquaFlareZ to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:23 youvegotn0mail All the people I think of as good friends ignore me

I was told to post elsewhere because the last sub wasn't the right place for it.
I'm just trying to figure this all out and sort out how I feel. I have a bunch of friends, I think our group is around 17 people, I'm probably "close" to around 10 of them.
I've noticed that whenever I post in the groupchat or pm someone there's just... silence. Even if it's something they're passionate about I just get 1 word answers until the conversation dies, that's if I'm lucky. (Hence my reddit username).
However, when someone else posts something it's like they're the hot topic, everyone can't get enough of each other and the conversation goes for hours.
Another thing that I've noticed is that everyone seems to know everything about everyone, including those spicey & hot secrets. But me? "Oh you don't need to know."
It just feels like they're all my friends but I'm not theirs, it's like I'm just an aquaintance to them.
I've always struggled socially and I'm not entirely sure what would happen if they just cut me off (I mean I think I almost have been). I try to be a good person, I work, I study, I volunteer, I exercise, I play local sports, I lend an ear or a shoulder when they need it, I jump up to help if one of them needs something (except financially). I've even thrown myself into fights for these people. Not to mention the time I spent learning their course work and tutoring them because they where failing uni despite the fact that I had my own degree to study for, I'm pretty sure I wrote half of their assignments. I just don't know what's wrong with me and no one will tell me.
It's also hard finding people with the same or similar interests as me, I get that the things I like are quite diverse and not exactly normal but I try my best to take an interest in what they like.
There was something recently that really hurt, a few years ago a girl I was "friends" with and I agreed to date, after 4 days she broke up with me citing "I'm not into guys anymore, I'm lesbian". I accepted that and we went on as we had before, eventually after about 8 months she just up and ghosted me, this was after I had gone out of my way to drive her to her exams because I knew if I didn't then she'd miss all her exams. After 4 months I found out she had a boyfriend, that was fine people can change their minds, she's young. This was out of my mind until 3 weeks ago, my friend group and I were at someone's house (socially distancing ofc) and one of the guys was joking that all the girls I've dated or been interested in have been 1) Nuns, 2) Mutes (she would only reply with yep or no, I kept on running out of things to say because she kept ending the conversation with short replys), 3) Lesbians (i.e., the girl I mentioned before). As the last one was said one of the other girls who was here for all this burst out laughing, I asked what was so funny and she said it wasn't because the girl was "lesbian". I asked her to elaborate if she was going to make a big scene about it, she refused and just kept dangling the fact that she knew something I didn't in front of me without telling me. That really hurt.
I'm just tired of being everyone's last choice. I just want to be heard. I want what they have with each other. I want the support that I give, yet desire that exact thing because I lack it. It doesn't help that the last month or so have been rough, busy at work, family issues, etc. Most of them are good people I think, we've kicked a few people out for being horrid human beings but I think what's left are pretty good. So I don't understand why it feels like I'm always on the outside looking in.
There are probably only 2 people I can sort of rely on in the group, but they've got their own shit going on.
Does anyone else feel like this? Is this normal? Do I just suck?
Xxx sorry for the rant I just need to let some things go. Thank you to those who got this far.
I'll probably add some stuff from my original post that will answer some questions.
"Doing their assignments for them is probability an exaggeration, I sat down with them and worked through it with them, explaining things, prompting answers, asking targeted questions to encourage the thought process, going through examples and checking their equations and grammar. I am a teacher afterall.
There is one inside joke about me I get, I kinda understand why. The girls and some of the guys think I'm gay, I mean I don't blame them the only people I've managed to attract are gay guys, this happens fairly frequently. I wish it were that easy to attract women."
"I had my birthday this year, it was on the same night as our games night. Lots of us got drunk, because of my size alcohol doesn't really affect me much so I was sober most the night. Unfortunately one of the horrid human beings that was in our group (we made sure he never came back) got drunk on purpose with the intent of "getting some" and tried to assault one of the married women in our group, which I then had to keep an eye on and keep restrained because we weren't going to let a drunk asshat who had just assaulted a woman out into the streets at 10pm. There are a lot of people who have PTSD and other issues coming from that night so my birthday is kinda already screwed, I mean who would want to celebrate a birthday on the anniversary of someone's assault?"
submitted by youvegotn0mail to offmychest [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:23 neighborhoodassassin Only ever been with women before, don’t know how to touch a man?

Hi all, this isn’t so dramatic and is in fact a little silly, but I’m actually kind of anxious about this.
I (22f) have only ever hooked up with and dated women before. Never even kissed a man until now. I’ve recently started seeing this guy, and I’m over the moon about him! However I’m kind of anxious because when we’re kissing, I don’t really know where I should touch him or grab him. I’m used to having boobs, hips, and long hair to work with, and I’m just not sure where to put my hands when those familiar cues are gone. I’ve mostly just been sticking to his waist and shoulders/neck for now. He hasn’t said anything negative, but I’d still like to know what the heck I should be doing with my hands while we make out.
I’m also a little anxious about if things progress farther, because again, no experience with dicks, but I feel comfortable asking him for guidance on what he likes in a sexual context. It feels ridiculous asking him where to put my hands when we’re making out, so that’s why I’m here asking reddit.
submitted by neighborhoodassassin to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:19 abbey_the_pig Boyfriend put his dog down for me, and I don’t know if I can stay with him.

Where do I begin? 2020 sucks.
My (20F) boyfriend (23M) put his 16 year old dog down today because I said I would leave if I had to live in a house that reeked of urine. That’s not how I wanted it to go, but that’s how it went. We’re having issues aside from the dog, and I admit I let those get mixed in.
Basically, his dog was old and sick. His mom left him the dog a year ago. She had a degenerative spine disorder- as diagnosed by a doctor in my family with dogs. My boyfriend refused to get her vet care because he couldn’t afford it, and insisted that she die naturally. The dog lost all bowel control and would pee these massive puddles in the kitchen at least once a day. Have you ever had to use a kitchen that reeked of urine so much you gagged? You could smell it coming up the stairs. I understand I’m going to live in sketchy houses while in my 20s but this is ridiculous.
It all started at therapy. I’ve been emotionally exhausted lately and I couldn’t figure out why. My therapist basically said that I was exhausted because I’m living in a disgusting situation and my boyfriend cares more about keeping this miserable dog alive than keeping the house livable. We tried diapers, puppy pads- I’ve been patient with this.
I think this situation is primarily his mother’s fault. She left him with a dying dog that he can’t take care of. For some reason, it’s ok not only for your son to live in puddles of dog urine, but to make others as well.
I figured he would choose her over me when I said I would leave if I had to live like this. He called his mom to take her, and low and behold, she refused. The same mom that wanted to keep her alive till Christmas, even though she never sees the dog. My family- all dog people- agreed with my assessment of the situation. I have a dog of my own, and I would’ve done the same for him.
We have our own relationship issues as I mentioned. I don’t like living here, but I had to move in after 3 1/2 months of dating for unrelated reasons- just time to move out. We hate being on top of each other all the time and resentment is building. We barely touch each other. I don’t know how to address those issues with his upset about his dog.
The night he put her down, he came out and read a letter to me- basically saying I don’t care about him, I don’t make him feel cared for, he resents me, I’m a narcissist, etc. His mom encouraged him to break up with me as well.
Im gonna be honest, that hurt- but I still don’t feel bad about the dog. I don’t know how to respond. I’m a huge animal lover, and I’m upset with him for being selfish. Then again, I didn’t handle this as delicately as I could’ve and maybe I should’ve left, because I’m still seriously considering it.
On top of this, I got a call tonight that my grandmothers tumor grew. She can’t get the proper treatment because she has to fly to her doctors, and I don’t know if the local oncology docs can fix this. My mom is dead so she’s the last mother figure I have. I’m housing insecure during a pandemic, and I don’t have a family member to move in with. Fuck 2020.
Do I stay or do I go?
TL;DR boyfriend put his dying dog down for me, and I don’t know if we can recover.
submitted by abbey_the_pig to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.12.04 11:16 Crimson-Exo-Hunter Armor sunset possible solution?

So armor being sunset kinda sucks, unlike weapons were all you need are cores, you need shards and prisms to masterwork armor and it’s a hard grind to get a good armor in the first place.
I was talking to a friend and he suggested something that I think would work? Maybe I don’t know I’m not really a good judge which is why I’m bringing it here.
He suggested that well the RNG grinding for your desired armor piece should remain since it’s fun that way, but the materials? That should be reworked.
He suggested like an “armor ripening” system.
If you want sunset stuff to last a year before being sunset then maybe just maybe let the materials have a timer for a year as well.
Let me expound more:
You master work an armor which needs shards, prisms and lots of cores.
All armor now has an expiry date now which is one year after its release so, how about make it so that when the armor is sunset and can’t be infused anymore, when the person dismantles said armor, they get like a full refund of the shards and prisms. Cores? Eh they’re easy to come by so don’t change how much is refunded.
But the catch has to be, you need to wait for the armor piece to reach its maximum power level before you can dismantle it for a full refund or else if you dismantle it too early then you’ll get nothing.
It still makes masterworking armor somewhat of a grind because people will either have to wait a year before they can refund the materials they need for an armor if they plan on dismantling a current masterwork armor or they will have to grind for it as per usual in your activities but it won’t make armor sun setting that much of a huge idea if you ask me.
submitted by Crimson-Exo-Hunter to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]