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It is going to take a lot of killing, but America is finally going to get gun control

2019.09.02 02:56 poorstories It is going to take a lot of killing, but America is finally going to get gun control

Just Kill Us or How America Got Gun Control
No way in the world did I think it would be that easy to kill 500 people.
After the killings in Christchurch, NZ and then the quick reaction of the government to enact strict new gun control laws, it dawned on me. The sheer size of the killings in NZ forced them to act. That’s all that is needed in America then, to get sensible gun laws, a bigger number.
“Kill-tastic 2019” was the thought that came to me as soon as our conversation was over. So, I said to these guys, “Gentlemen, lets’ go over this one more time just so we all agree that we are understanding the same things. You control all the levers of power in Washington. You, Mr. Mc Senate, run the Senate for at least a couple more years and you Mr. Mc House run the GOP in the House. You both promise me that you will be able to get this done and your party will be behind it?” I couldn’t believe that they agreed, but I had to admire that they had only one central principle that guided their every act - Money and Power, because in modern day America, they are indistinguishable and interchangeable.
Most people are kind of squishy on a lot of things because life is situational. Like me, I am generally against killing people, except for today. Not these guys though, their moral hollowness allows their inner meanness to manifest itself and stay single-mindedly on the task of harming as many of their fellow citizens as possible. This always leaves a path of destruction, but that is for others to haggle over.
Several mass killings ago, when a reporter shouted to a politician “Now that we have had 60 dead how many must get killed at once before there is any action? 100? 200? how many?” His, under the breath mutter of “probably more” was picked up on the mike before he had to rush off to other pressing matters. His answer-non-answer made me think that perhaps there was a path forward to sensible gun legislation. I know that on a personnel level very few of those people in Washington care how many of us get killed, only who kills us. Had the piece of shit who killed those in Vegas been on a prayer rug and named Mohammed, we would have bombed two Mid-East countries by the end of the week. Crazy white guy, there is nothing we can do, other than say it is too soon to talk about regulations. Just like the phase “Thank you for your service” as a way to absolve ourselves of any actual involvement in war, we can say “Thoughts and prayers”. If a plane crashes, before the embers are out, the FAA is on site and looking to see if any regulations were violated or could be improved to prevent a similar crash. But if you die by gun – fuck off!
When that sad, pitiable boy mowed down his 17 classmates and teachers down there in Florida, I thought this can't go on anymore. But guess what? It does in places like El Paso and Dayton. The numbers just don't work out for any of us because it always keeps going up. You know, that without a doubt, right now that there are several psychos in this country that are in serious discussions with their inner demons about putting up a bigger number than the turd in Las Vegas. Who’d thought the Coast Guard would be next up to want to establish a new record or New Zealand would want in on the action? Where and how does it end? We don’t like getting killed and I am sure that all things being equal most of these killers would rather not have done what they did.
Now that I had a clear idea, I needed a way to get to speak to Misters Mc House and Mc Senate. Guess what, you give a certain amount of cash to people’s campaigns and PAC’s and it is really easy to get one, even two, of these assholes to sit down with you.
In retrospect, it was incredibly easy to strike a deal with them. I asked them just how many people must be killed in a single gun fueled day before they thought everybody would demand a return to strict gun controls and it could pass with no complications? Not surprisingly, because they must have had this conversation before, they both simultaneously answered, 500. I next posited to them, “would $2 billion be enough for them to guarantee, on pain of death, that if a mass killing of this scale occurred, they would get comprehensive gun control legislation passed?” They said that it would take $10 million per yes vote in the Senate with another $5 million per no vote since they would know what was going on and want in on it. They said that they had to make up for all future lost graft from the gun folks. So, a billion for the Senate. The 435 congress-people would require an average of $1.5 million for another $650 million, add in $100 million each for these two goons and we will just round it to $2 billion and it is a done deal.
We then had some back and forth over various technical details such as when the money was to be paid, “once the required legislation is signed into law.” The legislators will receive their piece of the 2 Large in the form of paychecks, with withholding taken out and a notation that it is received for services – voting. Finally, honesty in legislative process.
Once I got the list of their wants and needs, I gave them mine. The legislation needed to pass before the first victim of some day’s future killing spree was put in the ground. The killings didn’t all have to be at the same location, because even that would be extreme by modern day battlefield numbers. The legislation must ban any auto or semi-automatic weapons and the ammo that fuels them. All existing guns of this type are to be turned in for cash, after which it is a fine and jail time to have one. If you absolutely need to shoot weapons of war, gun clubs will have the ability to allow you to store your gun there and supply you with ammo when you come into to shoot. All other remaining guns must be registered and there is a mental health exam and a mandatory 30 day waiting period and extensive background check and gun safety course to purchase a gun from any source. If any guns are in the house, they must be locked up and all other inhabitants of the house must also take gun safety courses. The same day when this future massacre occurs, they will both announce that they will be donating $100,000 to each of the families that were killed in the inevitable hail of lead. The $ 50 million is a pittance of the $2 billion they are going to get.
After reviewing the details and writing them down on a sheet of paper and making 3 copies and each of us signing them in blood, and pinky swearing an oath we then tucked them away. Mc Senate shoved his down his pants for some reason, weird.
Strange as it might seem doing all of that was the hard part. Getting 500 peopled gunned down was the easy part.
I am writing these final thoughts as I sit here in the bowels of the LA Coliseum with 110,000 totally psyched up violence freaks packing the stands. The same great excitement is taking place at four other stadiums around the country. I don’t know if it is appropriate to call them fans. Even though this is going to be cataclysmically awful, I have never been prouder to be an American. When we started the JUST KILL US web site, I never imagined the amount of support and participation that would happen.
Since the two deal makers didn’t really think at all about the details of so much death at once, they just assumed it was only a matter of time, like never. After seeing the actions of so many brave average citizens again and again it was easy to imagine how this could work. We saw it in Las Vegas, and those teachers in several locations. Shoppers and church goers, all willing to die for a stranger. Now because is it culturally the norm to respond, there are hero’s now at every one of these shootings. I knew that I had an answer. Pay per view. If a bunch of random drunk and stoned people will shield strangers and take a bullet for someone else, and low paid teachers will gladly lay down their lives for their students, and other students will take one for their class mates, I was sure that plenty of average citizens would gladly take a bullet so some future someone didn’t have to. So that is how “Kill-Tastic 2019” came to be. It just made more sense to get all the killing done at once rather than just limp along at 40 to 50 a clip. That is not getting us anywhere. Mowing down a bunch of little kids in NY didn’t get anything, shoot places of worship up on a regular basis, blah, blah, blah. A magical number was needed and now we know, it is 500. For a frame of reference, the single deadliest day during the Iraq war was 37 US soldiers killed. Think about that! A place where everybody’s day job is to kill someone, and they have the tools for that. That day’s total wouldn’t warrant a scroll notice across the bottom of the Weather Channel if it was done domestically.
I figured that I could start an internet campaign to get the killing together. I always believed that 499 other citizens would sign on with me. I would happily give my life today if I thought it would save tens of thousands of others in the future. I am old, got nothing real important going on and this would be a real cool thing to do on behalf of society. What rational, moral, God-fearing, God-loving, God-Damned Patriot wouldn’t give up their life if they knew it could save as a few thousand people a year? I am amazed that it even got off the ground let alone became the highest grossing pay per view in history.
This is a big wide beautiful country with a lot of basically good people and a smaller bunch of assholes. That last group doesn’t count. Since a majority of us want some form of stricter gun control and evidently, as each new mass killing shows us, a lot of us are willing to take a bullet for someone else, why not combine the two. Thus, began the JUST KILL US campaign. To the dismay of the distinguished GOP leaders, they forgot to mention any sort of prohibition against the organization of the mass kill since they wrongfully assumed that only Washington pols are so heartless and uncaring. Even they wouldn’t think of putting this up on the internet:
JUST KILL US
Senator Mc Senate and Rep Mc House have agreed that in exchange for a measly $ 2 billion and 500 people getting killed by one or more deranged white men in a single day they will pass, veto proof, comprehensive gun control legislation within three days of the bloodletting. The NY Times and The Auto Trader of Roswell, NM have notarized copies of the agreement these gentlemen have signed.
We are looking for 476 (24 folks are already in) additional citizens who would like to be sacrificial offerings to the Gods of Guns for one last time. Minimum age 21, unless you are Make a Wish Foundation material, then it is up to you and your parents. All successful applicants must pass a competency exam and have a plausible reason to want to get your guts blown out on worldwide TV. No suicide applications will be accepted, but you will be directed to a mental health professional. Our preferred candidates are the elderly, the hobbled and infirm, those with very short life expectancy and folks that carry the Ginger Gene. All applicants must be ambulatory either on foot or with a device such as a walker or wheelchair, but that equipment must be suitable for a grass field. Each successful murder victim will have a payment of $300,000 sent to whomever they specify on the release forms. They will also be given $ 50,000 to provide for any necessary funeral expenses and family and friends that can attend their “Last Supper and Bacchanal”. (limit of 50)
In addition to needing the volunteers to take one for the team we also need 15 psycho killers. If you are a legitimate Psycho Killer threat and have a mass killing in the planning stages. Please STOP planning and preparing for your massacre and come sign up with us. Submit a video telling us why you should be part of a killing team. In addition, you will need an affidavit from your mental health professional testifying that you are capable of such an act. Get your freak on and do a good deed at the same time. Free drinks, complementary shooter’s hat and mirrored sunglasses will also be provided. Also, all successful PK candidates must agree to follow standard PK protocols and kill themselves when they are done. Separate commemorative pistols will be used for this. These will be made available on eBay once the bad feelings from the whole thing die down. These proceeds will go towards new job training for any folks that lose their job making these weapons of war.
There will be five separate venues where a “Team” of three PK’s will have suitable fire power in their quest to blow away all 100 of their victims. The PK with the most kills of all the events can take a chance to try and fire a single clip into the stands prior to being shot to pieces by the attending police. Something to think about for those of you interested in tickets to watch live.
For the successful applicants, both victims and killers, you and a companion will be provided with round trip transportation to your personnel killing field. Your return trip will be in the box or urn of your choice. Your companion will get a seat for their return trip. PK’s will also get reasonable accommodations and meals prior to the event. (under guard or course)
As everyone knows, the site attracted over 20,000,000 people who sent in their qualifications. Every day when we reviewed the submissions we were constantly in tears. 10’s of thousands every single day, of the wretched, the old, the infirm, the healthy, the young, the poor, the well to do, military, police and firemen, emergency room people, clergy, pro athletes, teachers, students, 40,000 submissions from foreign countries and even two Amish folks. All willing to take one for the future safety of their fellow citizens. Nobody wanted to die, but everyone was willing to die so that others could live. That’s battlefield shit right there.
Every single one of the applicants was saying in some fashion, “It would be an honor and privilege to get shot in my face, have the bullet ricochet off my spine, travel down, ripping through my organs and then finally out my ass. I would endure it twice if I could, just to rid our nation of the scourge of guns. You can come by and shoot the shit out of my dying body if it means that nobody ever must hear of a bunch of children getting shot again.” 10’s of thousands of times each day we were shown true courage and the willingness to sacrifice. We picked 10 representatives from each state since we all have an equal stake in the outcome. The other thing that we were amazed by everyday was the in-pouring of support for those that were volunteering to go all Roman Colosseum. 10’s of millions of citizens saying how much they respected and loved those that were willing to sacrifice for them and their families. $680 million in small donations were sent in and all contained a note saying to give the money to the families of the ones getting killed on their behalf and how grateful they were.
As you might expect the cable companies stepped right up and got the pay per view gig together in remarkably short time. Not surprising though, given that the best to date, is a take of $ 400 million and less than 5 million viewers. The best, free, Super Bowl was 120 million and the wizards of the cable world viewed it as a possible global market of at least 300 million, with 100 million in the US alone. The reason viewership in the US was expected to be so good was everyone knew the revenue was going to various causes such as financial support for past victims of gun violence and the sensible thing was to pay for the program, unplug your tv so no one could watch and go do something that will make your neighborhood a better place. We also knew from consulting various professionals that getting the stadiums full would not be a problem if we could assure a camera free environment, so people couldn’t be outed for paying good money and showing up to watch the slaughter. This is America, so of course we worked with the NRA and put together tour packages with airfare, hotel, commemorative silver-plated, (non-functioning) assault weapon and shuttered bus to the stadium. An extra billion in revenue. At first, we were skeptical the stadiums could be filled, but when we thought about it, it is only 600,000 people and we know more than that watch beheading videos, so why not view this live with luxury seating and beer?
The Slaughterhouse 500 took a vote on what to do with the proceeds of the event, after expenses. Gross Revenue is estimated to top $10 Billion. The first $2 Billion will go to the evil twins and their toxic spawn, the rest of the legislators. $ 1 billion to the families of the Slaughterhouse 500. $3 Billion will to local politicians and the various permits and waivers required at each venue. Of the $4 Billion left the group decided $2 Billion to offsetting costs of past gun violence. The remaining $2 billion will be made available to anyone or group that can come up with a mechanism to produce universal health care. The consensus was that with the $50 Billion society would save annually with the substantial reduction in gun violence, it should now be affordable.
Last night at the “Last Supper” was the single greatest moment of most everyone’s life. We had a big dinner for everyone and their guests, open bar, great weed in the parking lot. Rivers of tears, aching jaws from laughter, lives re-lived in moments, lifelong friendships made in minutes. All that will end in a hail of bullets today. All sadness completely overwhelmed by the knowledge and the joy that in less than 24 hours our country will be a better place and an inexplicable madness will have been purged from our soul. Once in a break from the laughter, it struck me, that a short distance away the PK’ers were also getting ready. I started to cry when I thought how horrible it must be, to be so fucked up, to be over there, where there is only madness and hate and not here with us where there is love, peace, commitment and understanding. I am pretty sure that tomorrow we will all die happy, but I have my doubts about being able to murder happy. Are they hanging out together? Talking about tomorrow? Practicing with first person shooter video games? Telling stories about themselves? Is there anything to laugh about? Or are they alone in their rooms with their demons?
Side note here for you social scientists. A bunch of social and physical misfits doing a Dead Man Walking routine can be incredibly brutal in its application of humor. We all agreed that we will not just stand passively to be gunned down, this is our last act, so act we must. We agree that running around and making it as difficult as possible for the PK’s is only fair to the viewing audience. Most of us envision some sort of Keystone Cop thing with some pushing wheelchairs and those in electric chairs doing figure 8’s and stuff. One fit lady, Rhonda, is going to cartwheel her way through the show, figuring it gives a harder target and is more entertaining to the fans. Three enterprising folks from Minnesota showed up with targets printed on their shirts front and back. They got Target to add $ 50 million to the victim’s fund if they wear the shirts. One old Marine is going to make them work for it. He is wearing a bullet proof vest and helmet. There are folks that will show up in chicken, squirrel, deer and Trump costumes. I am most partial to the two gentleman that are coming as Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny. What makes it especially neat is that we got one of the PK’ers to agree to dress as Elmer Fud. I understand that the victims in the “Met Life Massacre” are going to try and pull off a falling domino routine. Nice metaphor.
They just finished the National Anthem and I can hear the beginning of the Stones “Sympathy for the Devil” being played, so it is time to get ready to take the field. This is not like a start to an NFL game. The average age is 62, there are 13 folks in wheelchairs, 16 use walkers and another half dozen use a cane. It will take a half hour to just get us onto the field and spread out. There are 100 of us here in the tunnel. No one is upset, no one is nervous, no one is regretting their decision. Everyone has tears of joy. It is amazing how happy everyone is, I am so glad I am here, these are the best people in America for the next hour.
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2019.03.23 18:57 MarkdownShadowBot Removed comments/submissions for /u/Gumbo_Booty

Hi Gumbo_Booty, you're not shadowbanned, but 91 of your most recent 100 comments/submissions were removed. They may be removed automatically by spam filters and not necessarily by human moderators.
Comment in Conservative, "Christchurch mosque shootings: 'Manifesto' deemed...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
Yesterday I was banned from / news immediately after posting the following comment regarding the article titled "nz bans terror suspects manifesto"
A bit late for that, it's been widely disseminat...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
I’m wrong on one count, I misread your comment regarding the Supreme Court ruling concerning detentions for non-us citizens, and I misunderstood and misrepresented your position. For that, I am sorry...
Comment in news, "New Zealand bans terror suspect's manifesto", 12pts (23 Mar 19):
A bit late for that, it's been widely disseminated, and barring people from looking at these things just makes them want to see why it's being hidden from view. The contents are not what you'd expect...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
You're a master hyperbolist, that much is for sure.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
I mean, if you choose not to believe the investigators, that's your right.
Comment in news, "GA Governor Brian Kemp, with a majority vote of 34 to 18,...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
My default assumption in this case, since there is a never ending chorus of the line "if christians dont like abortion why dont they adopt these babies", it would follow that SOMEONE on the left would...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
Again, you do not know more than the lead investigator, I assure you.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
I don't have any idea how that even remotely compares.
Comment in news, "FORMER EAST PITTSBURGH OFFICER MICHAEL ROSFELD NOT GUILTY...", 8pts (23 Mar 19):
He was in a car riddled with bullet holes, as that car had recently been used in a drive by, he fled the scene, and 2 firearms were found in the vehicle. The officer had every reason to believe the s...
Comment in news, "GA Governor Brian Kemp, with a majority vote of 34 to 18,...", 0pts (23 Mar 19):
Ok, show me some other study or poll. If you have numbers that show something else, I want to see them, because I, too, would prefer that most adopted children are not going to christian homes, or an...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
I'm not telling anyone "dont worry guys", I was speaking to one person. It's not pointless to me, because I'm actually severely disappointed in the fact that I have encountered so much idiocy within ...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
Agreed, a very weak excuse.
Comment in news, "GA Governor Brian Kemp, with a majority vote of 34 to 18,...", 0pts (23 Mar 19):
Which impartial group? Do you think, if a left wing group did this same study, that they would come to an extremely different result? If that's the case, they should... it makes me wonder why it has...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
You’re right. I’m not the gatekeeper for liberalism.
Yet here you are acting as one, attempting to other me for exercising freedom of association in a way you do not approve of, and for not being "m...
Comment in news, "Pakistani student murders professor over proposed co-ed...", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
I mean, are we going to say that everyone who did evil in secular regimes was just inherently evil, rather than someone steeped in whatever the prevailing political dogma is? I guess my point is, alt...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
What is "it"? Again, you don't know more than the lead investigator does, I assure you. And actually ctually, the fact that he gropes women is more confirmed, considering he admitted it the AH rec...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", -1pts (23 Mar 19):
Not really concerned with people who try to other me out of the left, but thanks for your valuable contribution to this conversation.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 0pts (23 Mar 19):
It's correct either way. Attacking motive instead of argument is also ad hominem, whether or not you had used name calling in conjunction with that.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 0pts (23 Mar 19):
Here, ladies and gentleman, is what we call a "tired and overused character attack".
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 3pts (23 Mar 19):
It's not an "objective fact", it's a reasonable suspicion. I assure you, you do not know more about what crimes he is guilty of than the lead investigator.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
Says the conservative.
Say it all you like, it's not the dirty word you think it is, and it doesn't apply to me. I'm left or slightly left of center on nearly every major wedge issue you can name. ...
Comment in news, "Judge rules Chicago suburb can't ban assault weapons", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
The slut walks don't bother me per-se, but I don't get why one should be proud of promiscuity. I know a lot of promiscuous people, and they're all more depressed.
Comment in news, "GA Governor Brian Kemp, with a majority vote of 34 to 18,...", -8pts (23 Mar 19):
Do you have any stats that conflict with those? You can't just dismiss the only people who bothered to do a study on it just because you don't like the result, sorry.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 2pts (23 Mar 19):
If mueller finds nothing he did was criminal, blatantly or otherwise, people should be relieved, not angry. Why in the hell wouldn't you be relieved to find out the person running the country isn't...
Comment in news, "Video shows local students handcuffed during stop for...", 6pts (23 Mar 19):
That's got to be the most idiotic excuse I could think of. That's some reefer madness level stupid.
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19):
Socialism is the extreme end of the left wing, and is by no means moderate. It's authoritarian by nature, and has been so every single time it's been tried. And please, save yourself the time and do...
Comment in news, "Robert Mueller submits special counsel's Russia probe...", 1pts (23 Mar 19
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2018.12.20 22:23 trottreacle How did you meet? And advice for singal gal pals...

Hey gay gal gang,
I've seen a lot of threads on Reddit about girls finding love, not finding love etc so thought it would be nice to share stories of how you met your SO & what advice you'd give to ladies who want to meet their future gal, or how to approach someone they like etc...
Here's mine. My gf is Estonian 33, I'm from the UK 28 & we met in NZ. My friend J & I were planning a roadtrip down the country but I had also invited my boy bestie M along so we needed another passenger to share J's fuel. She (J) said she knew someone who might be interested A. When we all met, we all hit it off & the adventure began. Best trip ever. But not too long into the trip I started to get a mad crush on A, sweet, kind, HILARIOUS, companionate & she just saw the world in a way I've never seen anybody see it.
I thought she was straight. Even on the first night getting to know her she was talking about a lad who she had liked so I never gave it a second thought but my feelings were so persistent. I couldn't help but check her out every time she wore a bikini or did her yoga stretches...daaaaamn it was hard not to drool.
I really had to give myself a talking to, leave it! She's straight. Then one night I had a dream so vivid even thinking about it now it gives me chills. We were together, I think it was either our wedding day, or we were at a wedding day & we were together. It felt so natural & right. When I woke up I felt sick to my stomach that it wasn't real. But I had to know once & for all of there was even a chance.
Over breakfast I started quizzing her on past relationships. Like really interrogating her (poor thing) & slowly she started opening up & low & behold she'd had a previous 2yr relationship with a girl. Hallelujah she's BI!! But shit. That actually meant there might be a slither of hope! Abort abort! I became so self conscious, my head was spinning & I suddenly didn't feel good enough, it was easy having a dream crush when I thought she was straight.
Fast forward a week, she was planning on finishing her trip due to funds getting low & she had agreed to work on a organic farm for bed & board. J & I headed further down the country & I confessed to J I had feelings for A & that I didn't know what to do, & besides we were hundreds of miles apart now. J just suggested I get to know her over messages.
Another week goes by. The messages at the beginning were amazing & I felt like she was reflecting my feelings. But slowly they became more infrequent & I began to lose hope. J & I were considering staying in Christchurch so I knew I wouldn't see her anymore.
Another week passes & J & A have talked & A suggests work in Nelson grape picking & are we interested in reuniting. I of course jump at the chance & we make the journey back up north. I admit I was nervous as hell about seeing her again & we met her at the farm for a meal & small gathering. The second I saw her I was hit by a tsunami of emotions & feelings. We couldn't stop smiling & laughing the chemistry was off the charts. I was sure it couldn't just be me feeling this..
The next day it's a full day together. We are just laughing constantly, having so much fun. I know I can't hold out much longer I have to know if she feels the same way but fuck. It's the scariest thing in the world even thinking about telling her how I feel. What if she doesn't see me that way? How could she right?
So the next night I decide to do it. We're Couchsurfing at a guys house who has a spare room but J leaves us in the spare room on our own for the night & sleeps on the sofa. My chance finally comes to tell her. I'm a wreck. I feel so sick. I try to tell her, but then start to feel her body language change & back out of it. Then try again & still I can't get the words right. 6 hours this goes on for & eventually after talking all night we decide to get some sleep. We are sleeping next to each other & I have babbled on for hours not sure if I'm making any sort of sense. As we lay next to each other I reach out & hold her hand. She squeezes it & starts crying. I ask her what's wrong, she says she understands now & she feels the same way, has for weeks. Tells me she's liked me from the start but was terrified of looking like a crazy creep with a massive crush.
We've been together ever since. We had to endure a year of long distance as we both had to go back to our respective countries, it's was brutally hard. But this past year we have travelled Canada together & will travel to Canada in the new year.
Life has been the best it's been since we got together. Telling her how I felt was the single most terrifying thing I've ever done. The fear of rejection & potentially losing an amazing friend was torture. The risk was huge but the pay off for just grabbing life by the horns was extraordinary. It was a constant battle with myself about telling her, & now if I think back & had I not done it we wouldn't be where we are now is scary.
Tell the girls you like you like them. You are good enough. If you have a crush on her, TELL HER! Ask her on that date. Make the first move! (My gf said she wouldn't have done it because she was sooooo convinced I didn't see her the same way even though I thought it was so obvious) No matter how hard you think you're trying to show you like her unless you TELL HER she isn't going to twig.
TELL HER! It could be the best thing you've ever done in your life.
Don't look back & wish you had.
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2018.12.20 18:15 trottreacle How did you meet? And giving advice to singal gal pals..

Hey gay gal gang,
I've seen a lot of threads on Reddit about girls finding love, not finding love etc so thought it would be nice to share stories of how you met your SO & what advice you'd give to ladies who want to meet their future gal, or how to approach someone they like etc...
Here's mine. My gf is Estonian 33, I'm from the UK 28 & we met in NZ. My friend J & I were planning a roadtrip down the country but I had also invited my boy bestie M along so we needed another passenger to share J's fuel. She (J) said she knew someone who might be interested A. When we all met, we all hit it off & the adventure began. Best trip ever. But not too long into the trip I started to get a mad crush on A, sweet, kind, HILARIOUS, companionate & she just saw the world in a way I've never seen anybody see it.
I thought she was straight. Even on the first night getting to know her she was talking about a lad who she had liked so I never gave it a second thought but my feelings were so persistent. I couldn't help but check her out every time she wore a bikini or did her yoga stretches...daaaaamn it was hard not to drool.
I really had to give myself a talking to, leave it! She's straight. Then one night I had a dream so vivid even thinking about it now it gives me chills. We were together, I think it was either our wedding day, or we were at a wedding day & we were together. It felt so natural & right. When I woke up I felt sick to my stomach that it wasn't real. But I had to know once & for all of there was even a chance.
Over breakfast I started quizzing her on past relationships. Like really interrogating her (poor thing) & slowly she started opening up & low & behold she'd had a previous 2yr relationship with a girl. Hallelujah she's BI!! But shit. That actually meant there might be a slither of hope! Abort abort! I became so self conscious, my head was spinning & I suddenly didn't feel good enough, it was easy having a dream crush when I thought she was straight.
Fast forward a week, she was planning on finishing her trip due to funds getting low & she had agreed to work on a organic farm for bed & board. J & I headed further down the country & I confessed to J I had feelings for A & that I didn't know what to do, & besides we were hundreds of miles apart now. J just suggested I get to know her over messages.
Another week goes by. The messages at the beginning were amazing & I felt like she was reflecting my feelings. But slowly they became more infrequent & I began to lose hope. J & I were considering staying in Christchurch so I knew I wouldn't see her anymore.
Another week passes & J & A have talked & A suggests work in Nelson grape picking & are we interested in reuniting. I of course jump at the chance & we make the journey back up north. I admit I was nervous as hell about seeing her again & we met her at the farm for a meal & small gathering. The second I saw her I was hit by a tsunami of emotions & feelings. We couldn't stop smiling & laughing the chemistry was off the charts. I was sure it couldn't just be me feeling this..
The next day it's a full day together. We are just laughing constantly, having so much fun. I know I can't hold out much longer I have to know if she feels the same way but fuck. It's the scariest thing in the world even thinking about telling her how I feel. What if she doesn't see me that way? How could she right?
So the next night I decide to do it. We're Couchsurfing at a guys house who has a spare room but J leaves us in the spare room on our own for the night & sleeps on the sofa. My chance finally comes to tell her. I'm a wreck. I feel so sick. I try to tell her, but then start to feel her body language change & back out of it. Then try again & still I can't get the words right. 6 hours this goes on for & eventually after talking all night we decide to get some sleep. We are sleeping next to each other & I have babbled on for hours not sure if I'm making any sort of sense. As we lay next to each other I reach out & hold her hand. She squeezes it & starts crying. I ask her what's wrong, she says she understands now & she feels the same way, has for weeks. Tells me she's liked me from the start but was terrified of looking like a crazy creep with a massive crush.
We've been together ever since. We had to endure a year of long distance as we both had to go back to our respective countries, it's was brutally hard. But this past year we have travelled Canada together & will travel to Canada in the new year.
Life has been the best it's been since we got together. Telling her how I felt was the single most terrifying thing I've ever done. The fear of rejection & potentially losing an amazing friend was torture. The risk was huge but the pay off for just grabbing life by the horns was extraordinary. It was a constant battle with myself about telling her, & now if I think back & had I not done it we wouldn't be where we are now is scary.
Tell the girls you like you like them. You are good enough. If you have a crush on her, TELL HER! Ask her on that date. Make the first move! (My gf said she wouldn't have done it because she was sooooo convinced I didn't see her the same way even though I thought it was so obvious) No matter how hard you think you're trying to show you like her unless you TELL HER she isn't going to twig.
TELL HER! It could be the best thing you've ever done in your life.
Don't look back & wish you had.
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2013.08.30 07:59 tabledresser [Table] I am A Flight Attendant for the #1 Airline- Emirates!

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Date: 2013-08-29
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Have you ever thought of opening up an antique shop? Why or why not? Do you know who I am? That's creepy. Before this, me and my boyfriend sold antiques online. Yes, I've thought about it a lot.
What's the weirdest thing that's happened during a flight? Have you ever felt threatened/unsafe during any flights? WEIRDEST thing that's ever happened during a flight? ... I was buddy flying with my friend. I'm on the a380 so we have a big plane to work with, 4 galleys and shower spas upstairs, as well as a crew rest compartment. The purser, who usually sticks to working upstairs with business and first class, kept on coming down to chill with my friend, we'll call her M. He'd ask her if she wanted drinks, food from first class, ect, and ignore the rest of us. At one point he leaned down and whispered something in M's ear, it made her turn beet red. He walked away and she told me, "he just told me to meet him in the shower spa". Well, she did, and you can imagine what happened. She came back down all giddy and said she was going to go on the same break as him in the crew rest comp. Apparently they fucked in there too. This is like having sex in a coffin that is on top of other coffins filled with people attempting to sleep. I mean, I guess crew hook up a LOT but this was the weirdest/most open/ most sudden way I'd ever seen it done!
How much time do you actually get to spend in the countries you fly to? 2-How much time do you actually get to spend in the countries you fly to?
3- Have you ever felt threatened/unsafe during any flights?
How do I hook up with a flight attendant? I can never tell if they are just being nice or they want me...most likely want me. Listen... Just be forward. Personally I'm engaged-ish so I don't do anything with the randomers I meet, but my friends and single (and super pretty) and probably hook up with a guy every other flight. Generally, these guys are people who are really straightforward and will hand them a business card or ust straight ask for their number (which we aren't supposed to give out but doesn't stop most of us) and are really honest about just wanting something "no strings attached" from moment one.
Be straight forward, good looking and appear rich. Lol, better advice.
Like what base do they go to? What?
What is your best memory of flying, one being scenic (favorite country or something) and the other being customer related (a customer who really made your day)? Ok this might sound kind of silly, but I know EASILY the answer to the second question. I study a lot about Islamic Feminism, and it's a big interest for me, so I really love interacting with the middle eastern women here, especially going to places like Saudi Arabia where life is so vastly different from my western world. I'd been serving this woman the whole flight, (to Jeddah, if I remember correctly) and she didn't speak a word of English, but I could kind of see the smile in her eyes, you know? I say her eyes because she had on full burqa and was totally covered otherwise. Anyway, when she was getting off the plane she grabbed my arm and made me face her. Her eyes were smiling again. She then put her two hands together and made her thumbs and pointer fingers make a heart. Then she pointed at me. Then walked away.
Hey thanks for doing this. Best and worst things about working for emirates? What nationality are you? Best and worst seats on the plane? And do Arab men tend to be dismissive or patronising to you? Best thing about working for emirates is obvious- the travel. I'm American, so pretty much any other airline wouldn't be a) sending you to so many countries while b) also putting you in such a nice hotel and c) giving you a reallly nice allowance for every layover.
I think the best seats on the plane are in the back on the 380. We keep them clear of kids on the long hauls because our rest compartment is back there, and we wanna sleep without crying babies too! Also by the galley is nice, because you can pop in and ask for anything you like!
Arab men... Listen. I don't want to ever say anything generalising about anybody. I think that there's a lot of things that need to change in some Muslim countries for the rights of women. And of course men from these places will (sometimes) treat me different. But... I don't know. I don't think they're more patronizing then any other nationality.
As a matter of fact, most crew dread the INDIA flights because of being patronized more then anything. (Crew say) they are very demanding and don't say please and like to be served for serving's sake.
Are the India flights that bad? I'm Indian but I haven't really seen anyone patronizing the crew members. I usually fly the EK724/5 and the EK 203/4. Edit: I've flown from DXB to MAA once to visit my family. I didn't say I felt that way- but the india flights ARE exceptionally busy. I think this is just passengers attempting to get the most from their money in a short time. Also, I'm flying MAA on the 28th! =) (of sept)
The entire flight-deck crew is incapacitated by dodgy fish dinner. Can you save the plane and everyone onboard? I just wanted to let you know, we're all counting on you. Flight deck are not allowed to eat fish on board precisely because of this. We ARE trained in what to do when flight deck are incapacitated, but I don't know how much I'm allowed to say about this one? =x.
What's the most obnoxious request you've received on a flight? People will ask for things just to exersize their power, because at EK, we aren't really allowed to say no. "Ma'am can you put the seat back for me?" would be a POLITE way they would ask for something they can do perfectly easily themselves- sometimes people just like to be served. I think these are the requests that make me the most mad because it's specifically just to belittle me =(. But usually I just do it and try to be super friendly always in the hope people will eventually see me as a person and not just a hat and red lipstick.
Do they let you wear the nose ring on the job? What rules do they have about grooming and so on? No, I can't wear the nosering. The grooming standards are VERY strict. We have a grooming inspection before every single flight, they check how pressed our uni is, if oour nails are painted and manicured, if our hair in an emirates- approved style, ect... I've seen people get in a lot of trouble for something that would be very small at most other airlines. Hiring is 2 months of the most intense training. Harder then the job, because they emulate many emergency situations and you have to get and up and interact as if you were responding to them. This is really hard, actually, when you have 2 managers following you around with clipboards judging you not to mention 3 or so co-workers watching you and giggling.
Do you ever get tired of just flying? And what's the most annoying thug to deal with on a daily basis? Crying babies? Nope. I'd always rather be working my way to a country then having to sit, bored out of my mind in eco class for 10 hours to get somewhere. I mean, I get tired of being so fucking tired sometimes, but I know after this I can never go back to a 9-5.
As a flight attendant, what type of meals do you eat? Is it similar to what customers get on the flight? Ugh... I'm getting so fat exactly because of this. We eat leftover customer meals ALL THE TIME. They usually load stuff for us to eat too, but its the same exactly stuff almost every flight.. shitty salads, some sandwiches, fruit.
The problem is between this and always eating out (or room service) when I'm away... ooof.
What is the funniest thing that a passenger has said or done during a flight? Like joke or behaviour wise. Drunk passengers are pretty entertaining- and sneaky!!! I had one recently who snuck between galleys and made sure to ask a different FA every time for a drink (alcohol is free on board ). This lady, oldish, balding, and giggling, once we caught on, would peer in through the curtains separating from the galley from the seats. Her little head would pop in and she would peer about like a cartoon checking if the coast was clear. She'd then tiiipptooe realllyyy sloowlly to the bar and try to steal more mini Jameson's. When we'd yell out she's giggle madly and run out for a bit, but the whole process would only repeat again a few minutes later.
Tips for scoring an upgrade into first class? This is the holy grail for anyone having to fly long distance. Suggestions? I was groundstaff for a while too, for a different airline: BE NICE TO YOUR GROUND STAFF. Really nice. Tell them they're pretty. ask how their day is. DONT ASK IF THERE ARE ANY UPGRADES AVAILABLE. This is the most annoying thing in the world.
Other then that... Become a member of some kind of loyalty program, and stick to it. At both airlines I've worked for we treat our gold members like, well, gold.
Does it feel weird jumping between so many cities all the time? What is your favorite flight to take? No, it feels weird when I'm in Dubai for so long. If I have lots of days off, I get restless, and bored.
MY favourite city to go to is Auckland, NZ, because I've gone SO MANY TIMES it's started to feel like a second home to me. Plus it reminds me of upstate new York, and it makes me feel physically at home too. Also also, the bartender at Danny Doolin's always recognizes me (local bar) and it always makes me feel like I'm not so invisible, which sometime can be depressing on layovers. That city makes me feel like I go from happy ghost to solid person.
As am Aucklander and a Danny doolans regular this makes of smile immensely! Also I'm flying from Auckland to Brisbane this week, are you!? :) I'm on reserve this week, but since they've sent me to Auckland twice already, I wouldn't be surprised. I was hoping some aucklander would acknowledge the magic of Danny's. ;)
What schooling did you have to go through to be hired by emirates? I just have my BA. I got it in world religions, which they liked, because it makes me culturally aware or something, I don't know. ;)
Have you seen the movie Flight? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Lol, yes. I think it was pretty silly. Very hollywoody. I was talking to a captian about it and he did say it would be possible to land a plane in the fashion the man did in the movie, but very, very, very improbable.
Anyway you could get me a free ride to Sydney? Are you Aussie? Give me a place to crash? We'll talk. =p.
What would say is a must see for someone who has a 24 hour layover in Dubai? Layover in Dubai? Ok. GO TO 360. Yes, it's expensive. It's ritzy. IT's over the top. But. it. is. fucking. beautiful. Just dress up, grab one drink, nurse it, and pretend you're rich for one evening. =)
Do mobile phones really mess with the navigation system? or is it that you just don't want people blabbing away all flight (which I'm totally cool with btw)? They do, but there's only a verrryy small chance it can happen. Isn't that risk enough?
Did you always want to be a flight attendant? What put you in this profession? Thanks! Since high school. I think I have something wrong with me. I feel restless ALL THE TIME. I used to get panic attacks almost daily from this. Flying has been a cure for me.
That's very interesting. I've never thought of flying as therapeutic. Then if you wouldn't mind, did you're family or anyone disapprove of what you wanted to become? No, my parents are just happy I made it through college. I'm not a very focused person, and need to be doing something different all the time or I get very depressed. My boyfriend misses me, but I think that's just because he's in NYC and im in Dubai. It'll be nice if I can eventually get a job with an international US carrier.
Not sure if this is still open, but honestly whats the policy on "The Mile High Club"? Are you instructed on how to handle people attempting to have sex in the bathroom ? Hahaha, it happens. We just tell them it's not allowed and send them back to their seat... in economy. I've heard stories about people looking the other way in first class though, which is easy enough o do since they have their own mini-cabin.
How do I get you to like me beyond just being polite? Is there anything I can do? Thank us. I mean, how much do you want us to like you? If you want to like... talk to us, just talk. Esp the long flights are DEAD boring sometimes, its so nice when a passenger just walks into the galley and makes conversation.
I've been on an international flight but I have this question, can you please tell me where the galley is exactly? Thank you in advance for your response. For the a380 there are two downstairs. I cant remember the exact rows now but the first is behind row 51ish and the second is behind row 89ish. They're kinda obvious though.
How difficult is it to get through training? It's difficult. I studied and worked more to pass those tests then I did through 4 years of college ;)
Do Male flight attendants get 'discriminated' against? And discriminated against how? There are less of 'em, so there's that, I suppose.
How often have you been on a flight where someone died (from a heart attack or the like)? I thank god have not had a death on board. It's inescapable after a certain amount of years though. My friend just had a death on board on a Jeddah, and it really effected her. I've had plenty of faintings, asthma, people pooing and peeing themselves, and one lady who forgot her insulin in her checked bag (dummy), but no deaths yet.
Is there still a height requirement to become a flight attendant? I don't know EXACTLY, they usually have them listed on different websites. For us at the initial interview they taped a peive of paper to the door and made us touch it on our tiptoes. If you couldn't, you were out.
Do you every worry about landing in UAE where accidentally stepping on the remains of a cannibis cigarette can land you four years in prison? Um, I live in the UAE. And shit's bad here sometimes, yes. I've had 2 friends now- in the span of just one year here- be roofied. Of course, we couldn't report it to the cops. Luckily nothing else happened. =(
That is mildly horrifying. I really want to see Dubai, but frankly I'm apprehensive. I have a hard enough time not making an ass out of myself in America. But in Dubai, I'm worried I will do or say something and find my ass in jail. Yep, no problem. You should be safe, though, really as long as you don't get too publicly drunk and have some good friends around to keep an eye on you, especially if you are a lady.
Of course, we couldn't report it to the cops. Why do you say that? I live in Dubai too and if I got drugged against my will, I would obviously report it to the police. I am surprised you didn't. What made you decide against reporting it? Fear. it depends on who you get. bad things can happen to you if you've been drinking and go to the police.
What kind of advice would you give for a boyfriend of a flight attendant? Trust your girlfriend, or it's not going to work. Be nice when she acts really weird/sad/cranky after not sleeping for 24+ hours. Don't get mad when she complains about going to Paris, AGAIN.
How did you come about being a flight attendant? How many times/different airlines did you interview for? I am curious because I once interviewed with Alaska and was not hired but understood it takes quite a few times usually! The American carriers are REALLY tough to break into. I was applying on and off ofr years and had many, many interviews before I got this job. It's tough but just keep on applying, and remember sometimes is takes MONTHS for airlines to even respond to you.
Is is true that you are made to go through a manual containing pointers about how people from each country are and how to behave with them? Is that book full of stereotypes or actual s? This... never happened. We talk a lot about how we need to understand different cultures and try to never be offended by how people act around us because it might just be a result of their culture. But nothing like this, no.
By the way, is the airline strict on body image? i know for my gf airline, they're pretty strict to what a FA should look like. so i was wondering, is that so for yours? Yes... they straight up tell us we do get partially hired for our looks, and they put us on diet plans if we get too skinny or too big... but they aren't, like, mean, about it. If that makes sense.
What's the coolest thing to do in the dubai airport to kill time during a 4hr transit?? HA! I love this question. Funnily enough, I don't spend a lot of time at the airport. We go straight to the plane by bus from our HQ. But I don't think there's much to do but shop...
Have you lost any friends due to a crash? What advise would you give someone (myself-who is always traveling and flying) that is terrified of flying? No!!! Crashes hardly happen!!! goodness! The thing to remember is exactly that. Your chances of dying in a plane crash are so low, esp compared to dying in so many other ways!
I have a real tough time with turbulence on flights... I've gone through some really hectic weather storms. How can I better rationalize these annoying fears? I've been using wine to deal with it... helps sometimes. Wine helps. Talk to us. I sit with people who are scared of turbulence. Sometimes company helps. Also, just remember: Turbulence doesn't crash planes. Keep your seat belt on and you're going to be 100 per cent ok, I promise.
I'm interested in becoming a flight attendant. I think it sounds really great...only thing is that I do have a boyfriend and I really like to spend time with him. I'm thinking of applying for a national or regional company, in hopes of not being away from home too long. Any thoughts or suggestions on this? -Thanks! Find someone who works at jetblue to let me know when they're hiring next, have a coupla friends working for them and they love it.
Awesome. glad to hear it! I'm a fan of Southwest... but I hear they haven't hired FAs in a while... Enjoy the singing...
Any suggestions for an I.T. guy looking to start work in the airport/airline field? Start with groundstaff. They're usually not really super picky about people who don't have customer service experience )theyll ssy they are, but they aren't). You get cool travel benefits and your foot in the door if you wanna start flying.
Are you a slam-clicker? I found it kinda hard to keep up with flight crews. Not sure if it's the same in the cabin. Had to look this up: Link to www.urbandictionary.com
And, no, not usually, usually I try to go out in every single city. But there's been one or two layovers that Ive just been so fucking tired.
Is your airline aware you're doing this? I haven't seen anything bad that you've said but generally they don't like things like this. Hell no. They probably wouldn't like it either. But this is anonymous, right? soo.
Hey tomorrow I am flying emirates from Christchurch to Sydney and then Sydney to Bangkok. Any chance you will be on that flight? NO, thank god I have a legal day off after WAY to many aussie flights in a row.
Auckland... Wooo! If the opportunity to work for air new Zealand were offered, would you take it? Yes. YES YESSS.
I just wanted to say this, most flight attendants I met are the nicest people and you and all other flight attends deserve a Thank You! Hey, thanks!! That's nice to hear. =)
TIL: Never, EVER date or marry a flight attendant. HEYY!! I'm dating a man back home and we're very happy!
R u hot? Nope.
I would say yes. Nope I am disgusting.
Last updated: 2013-09-02 17:20 UTC Next update: 2013-09-02 23:20 UTC
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2013.01.07 20:56 tabledresser [Table] IAmA 19 y/o amputee with a rare medical condition called Klippel Trenaunay-Weber Syndrome. AMA

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Date: 2013-01-06
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My brother is an amputee. He lost his right leg below the knee in a work accident. The first Halloween after his surgery, he went as a pirate and insisted we all call him Captain Stumpy. I love the pic of you on the bike. Is it difficult to balance on a bicycle with one leg? (edit for forgotten info) You learn where your center of gravity is, I fell off A LOT at first, but now I can ride with ease without falling over.
Does your knee wear out because of the intense use? I've been told I might burn out the cartlidge if I'm not careful. So I try to be as careful as possible, constant rough impact like hopping is the thing that does the damage though. Not cycling.
Are there many hills where you live? I bike a lot and can't imagine trying to get up a tough hill relying on one leg to make that "up" motion of the pedal happen. There are tonnes; hills galore in this country, it's why people love it so much. I just get a lot of speed up, then when the momentum decreases it becomes rather jerky as I peddle with the one leg until I reach a flatter area. Still works though.
Come visit us in /bicycling sometime. Ooh, another subscription.
Did you get to keep your amputated leg? I'd make a lamp out of it. Also, do you have a prosthesis? Might be useful to hold snacks or something. Yes, kept it wrapped up and in the freezer for a while but had no idea what to do with it. When I went in for the 4 inch trim after the two further breaks, I took it with me and had it cremated. It now sits in an urn on my desk. EDIT: Yes, I do have a prothesis. Very hard to learn how to use though as I did not have the muscle there already due to the condition. So I'm working on building it up before I can use it all the time.
Holy crap! What is it like to be given your own body part after a surgery? Did they just hand it to you in a bag or something? Were there rules about what you could or couldn't do with it? Very weird indeed. Nope, I was allowed to do whatever I liked with it. Apart from sell it, I suppose.
I'm sure you've already considered this, but a physical therapist could help you tremendously with the use of the prosthesis! :) I've seen a fair few. ;o.
Can you describe your device (what's material it's made of, etc)? Could you also share roughly how much it cost you? Link to i.imgur.com Carbon Fibre, titanium, aluminium, pneumatic knee joint, rubber foot. Roughly worth $8,000 NZD.
I had a feeling you were a kiwi, the Warwick 1B4 book was a dead giveaway. Where was the prosthetic made, locally or elsewhere? The knee was imported but they made the rest of it at the chch limb centre.
Any reason they don't make the bottom half calf shaped? Seems like it'd be easy to do? They offered, but it makes it heavier. And the main reason I said no is because I think it looks cooler this way. ;)
That's cool as shit, I'm imagining they had to take moulds of your leg, was that done in Christchurch or locally? Yeah, had to have a full casting done. Was a very long uncomfortable process. Done in Christchurch with the awesome guys at the centre there.
Do you ever get an itch in the leg that isn't there? If so how do you deal with it? Yes, these are known as phantom pains. The worst is when I get an itchy foot and I go to scratch it but can't. It drives me crazy. My best mate is really good at making things out to begin this scratch such as describing a feather on my toes. Once it starts I have to find a mirror otherwise I'll be writhing round with an un-itchable itch.
Weird how looking at myself in a mirror, at the stump, ceases this itch instantly.
So for the lazy , What is the condition you have ? what does it do ? Before you were diagnosed what did you think was wrong ? Vascular malformation. I have a shit-tonne of veins that aren't needed all over my body (more-so were focused in my leg which stopped the bone strengthening). Every affected area is hyper-sensitive. I was diagnosed when I was 2 weeks old, so I guess I was thinking "I love this teddy-bear" or "where's my bottle". I dunno, can't remember.
Does it help or hurt with the ladies? Pity vote, bro. ;) "I have one leg, I need a hug"
Hmm, would it be worth it to cut off my leg? Short answer: No. I wouldn't risk the pain of losing a limb upon even my worst enemy.
How did you break your leg? Was it just during day to day activities? Haha, well. The first time was rather silly. I was 7 years old and slipped on the kitchen floor. Bone was so weak from the condition that it just fractured the tibia and fibula. Then after that, it was very much my fault. 2nd: Playing volley ball hoping around went to spike the ball and someone came down on top of me snapping my femur over my shoulder. (that one hurt a little) 3rd: Playing soccer on crutches, tried to do a bicycle kick and ended up slipping, landed with one crutch under the bone and the force snapped the tibia and fibula. My ankle could touch my knee. ;) 4th: This was after my first amputation. Was playing soccer with hockey sticks. I think you could probably guess what happened. Took a full swing to it fracturing the femur. 5th: Was at rowing training play-fighting with another rower. Went to pretend to kick him with my stump (as a joke) he flinched and blocked the stump with a lot of force and it just broke in two.
I'd call them day-to-day activities, yes. Even though my doctor told me to stop playing sports. But better to enjoy life than be a bubble-boy, right?
Could the reinforce the bones with titanium rods or plates to prevent rebreaking? Major surgery like that in a hyper-sensitive area with more veins than any normal person was not any surgeon's idea of a clean op.
If they were to do that they probably would have ended up damaging me a lot more than a clean cut straight through. Also, my knee was pretty fucked up.
Did it hurt more before of after? I know a girl with this, and she can do anything! We went roller skating! Best of luck! Best decision of my life, nothing there to get in the way anymore. I'm pain-free for the first time in years since it was lopped off. Thanks bro.
Do you swim in circles? Freestyle does not work for me, as I barrel-roll. Everything else is fine though.
Were you afraid? Knowing that your leg would soon be gone? Or was your leg not that useful anyway? I'd be crazy not to be afraid. It was the scariest thought ever. I mean, I felt rather attached to my leg. Even if it was useless.
How do you pedal? I use a cleat. So I slot my foot into the pedal then pull it up where I would normally push down with the other foot.
Oh ok! The picture looked like there was nothing there. :) That's because there is nothing there, my leg was amputated, remember? ;)
Lady here: Oh lord, not only are you ladyboner material you're also a cyclist. You're just trying to steal my heart! (PS: you make me want to ride more and man up- I live in NE, bike is packed for the winter.) What do you mean by "ride"? ;) Winter riding is the best IMO, don't work up a sweat as quickly and you feel fresher in the cooler air. Then again, I live in a warm country that doesn't even snow in winter.
Every form of the word haha. ;) US- Washington, D.C. It's currently 20-40 degrees with rain and snow. NO THANKS. Winter isn't fun. I want a perpetual good weather area! I read 20-40 degrees and thought you were high or something saying it was snowing in those temperatures. Then I realised you go by Fahrenheit. ;o.
When you buy new shoes, what do you do with the right shoe? (Considering you don't use it on a prosthetic.) Donate it to the Limb Centre for someone who is missing their left leg that is the same size as me.
Do you ever go to the Limb Centre to get left shoes? I've tried, but there are never any in my size there. I have a ridiculously large big toe.
What is the hardest and easiest things to do in daily life? What has changed? Hardest would be carrying items that normally you would with your hands such as a glass of water. I have to hop with it which can result in spilling it everywhere. Gets rather frustrating sometimes. Easiest would be keeping fit as I walk round on crutches all day every day. (free gym)
What's changed? I feel like I've come out of my shell after having the limb lopped off. I'm a lot more out-going and whatnot now.
Do you not use the prosthetic then? Why not? I'm still building up the muscle in my stump so I can use it all the time. Still not strong enough to walk un-aided on it yet.
Is there a risk of something similar happening in your other limbs? If so, does that knowledge change the way you live your life? The whole condition runs through the whole of my right hand side and most organs. It was just very concentrated in the right leg. There is (or so I've been told) no risk of it spreading or worsening so I am quite relaxed. Then again, even if the way I lived my life did affect the condition I'd still do what I do.
How has it been adapting to life? Hell at first, but looking back now, I've come an incredibly long way. Certainly went through some low points, though.
How do you mount/dismount? How do you handle having to stop (really stop, like at a long light or something?) Can you trackstand? To mount I get the bike rolling then just hop on, clip myself in and I'm off. To dismount I just unclip then brake until I can put my foot down.
Other than one pedal, anything special about your bike? Nothing special apart from one pedal, no.
a personal/regional preference question: front brake on the left or right lever? Right lever for the front brake, iirc. Would go out and check right now but cbf, I just woke up and am in bed. ;o.
How long is your current stump? How much weigh can it carry? What happens if you try to bend your nonexistent knee? From the crotch to the tip it's ~20cm. It can carry my whole body weight, haven't tried anything more yet. If I try to bend my knee my stump has a spasm as all the muscles fight each other as the nerves don't actually lead anywhere and get confused.
How long was your first amputation stump? It looks like it goes down to your knee. Why was it cut again? Do you anticipate it being cut even shorter? I know two amputees, both missing their left leg above the knee, and both prefer using crutches since their prosthetics are practically non-functional. One prefers a single crutch since it gives him a free hand, while the other uses two crutches. Do you use two crutches or one? Do you hop around for short distances, like in your room or in the shower? Speaking of which, do you need to use adapted facilities when showering, like a rail to hold onto? The initial amputation was a through knee which is not used nearly as much as above or below. They did it because they thought it'd give a better base but it left too much length in the femur with not enough covering it leaving it vulnerable hence me being able to break it twice more. I use two crutches for day to day life and hop around the house. Nah, I can manage the shower just fine nowadays. Used to need one of those shower stools though.
Any chance of a future in the paralympics? Perhaps one day. It'd take a LOT of training and I'm still at university. So I think I'd want to finish with my studies before taking on such a large project.
Dude, that is some astonishing shit. Good onya. Props for the cycling. Which part of the country do you live in? Do you do many / any competitive events? (I'm in NZ too - Taupo.) South Island, brah.
Why was the primary decision made to amputate your leg? Was it because the pain was unbearable or because your leg was non-viable?. I was used to the pain, had kinda gone along with the idea of living with it. That was until I got a nasty in-grown toe-nail. Because of all the veins and hyper sensitivity the surgeons didn't really want to attempt to right that. I'd been suggested amputation before-hand but had shrugged off the idea as it seemed a little over the top. However, I was a little more mature this time around being 15 and all. Anyways, I was left to mull over the idea. Decided to contact a double amputee called "Mark Inglis" the New Zealander who climbed Mt. Everest with two artificial limbs. He was very very humble and has some amazing views on life. I'd have to say he was the one that helped me convince myself that I needed the amputation. The words "anything's possible, mate" inspired me beyond anything.
So, yeah.
We're you worried that people would make fun of you in school? Kinda stupid I know but they're some cruel people in this world. Also how was it trying to find the one? Did you find that person!:) Wasn't worried at all. Always been that kid that kinda gets along with everyone from nerds to jocks. Had one of the biggest "get well soon" cards ever. Bro, I'm still 19. Living life, having fun, making friends, enjoying myself. Not ready to settle down just yet. ;)
What was it like to first wake up from surgery and not have your leg there? Didn't think it was gone at first because it still felt like it was still there. Wasn't until I fulled the blankets off and almost passed out from the shock of it that it sunk in. So I'd say rather shocking.
How did you deal with chronic pain? Medication, meditation...? Medication at first, then I kinda learned how to block out the pain during the day. If ever I were to give my leg/stump a good whack during the day, I wouldn't be in pain until I was lying in bed.
Now I only take medication if I've had a very long, physically demanding day.
What kind of prosthetic knee do you have, and have you tried using it while riding? A pneumatic knee. Can't remember the model name or anything of it. Can't use it for riding as my stumps too short for me to get enough leverage through it for it to work on a bike.
Thanks for the reply, I'm actually going to school to be a prosthetist and I've never heard let alone studied your rare pathology. But I have built a prosthetic leg for an above the knee amputee and I do know how hard it is to fit a patient with a short residual limb. Oh good choice. My advice to you is to be super friendly. :) My Prosthetist is one of the nicest most friendly guys I've ever met and I don't despise my limb centre visits because of the people there.
As a future doctor-was it difficult to accept the diagnosis? How did u cope with that? How about your interaction with people,do u have any problems with strange looks etc? It was hard, yes. But the reality was exactly what is was, a reality. So I had to accept it. Friends and family helped me through it.
I get a lot of strange looks but just go with it as they're curious and I look different to them. There's no harm in looking or even asking about it. I will admit, it used to piss me off at first while I was still coming to grips with it. But now it's fine.
How long did it take to come to terms with it all or are you still? Can/do you joke around about it harmlessly? as it disadvantaged you considerably and how do you see your future playing out - particularly career wise? It took a while, but close friends and family pulled me through. I now joke about it all the time, better to laugh than cry.
I'm studying to be a radiographer, so that would be the ideal future/career. ;) I'd love to be a radiographer in Canada in the future.
Does it feel like you still have a leg? Like can you feel like you're wiggling your toes? Or bending your knee? Yes indeed, that's the phantom pains I was talking about.
As a (hopeful) future doctor, was there something done by the physician that made you feel "safe" (in terms of getting part of your leg cut off) or comfortable with your decision to get an amputation? Nothing really. Just that it was probably the best way to deal with how things were going.
Do you have trouble with questions from people? Insensitivity? None at all. In fact, I encourage one leg jokes. If someone manages to come up with one I haven't heard yet, I'd be very impressed. ;)
That's extremely mature of you. I wish everyone was as tolerant. Though I personally believe that someone who makes fun of a differently-abled person should be punched in the face. Oh, I'd never do such a thing without knowing them first. That's just rude.
Otto bock knee and sach foot? Looks like your socket is flexed, did you develop a hip flexion contractor or due to kts...keep up the good work bud love hearing success stories like this. Not sure on the first one. I developed the hip flexion due to the KTS, yes.
Nice one! Do you cycle competitively? If so, how many times per race does someone try to tell you you ought to be in the Paralympics? I ride casually at the moment. But have been told that I am pretty quick for a guy with one leg.
Was it just symbolic to remove the one pedal from the bike or is there some other reason? Weight, got in the way (like when I go to put the bike in the car, I put it lying on the right hand side in the boot and it sits perfectly) and security. It's pretty difficult to ride a bike with one peddle if you have no cleat. ;o.
Plus there was no purpose for it.
I'm impressed, do you lean at all to one side? The beep test is the worst, I first had to run it ate age 9; my phys ed teacher was some sort of sick, twisted being though. My foot prefers the centre of my body when I am using the leg (left foot, that is) because of the fact that I use it all the time to get around and it's become the norm. Makes it rather awkward, a hard habit to break. But I don't really "lean", no.
What's a press up? I'm Canadian... Sorry. Link to www.recordholders.org A push up, I guess. ;o.
If I asked you to kick it with me, would you? Kick you with what?
Fuck femur fractures... I've never broken that bone, but I work as a Paramedic and I've seen people go through hell. I can give all the morphine on my rig and pull traction and it wouldn't t even touch the pain. I wouldn't recommend breaking it. ;) Most painful thing I've ever experienced. Keep up the good work, gotta love paramedics.
I'm an avid cyclist and don't get passed up too often, especially by women. (I don't mean to be sexist, but it's true.) Then one day I was passed by a woman with a prosthetic leg. I'd be damned! TL;DR: You're a badass for biking still! Just because there's a piece missing doesn't mean we're not still competitive. ;o.
But yeah, I love the generic attitude that goes with people who lose limbs. There are two extremes, this is true. But more often than not it's "well, it happened. I'm stuck with this. Might as well do what I can and make the most of it."
I hope it motivated you to train harder. :)
I know this guy! His name's Andy, and he lives in Australia. He's in college now and doing awesome. Nice guy, too. Have a great time with life bro. *New Zealand. Damned Americans and their assumption that we're the same country. :< Also, hi Payne.
You must hold a world record for standing on one foot. I can't manage it for more than one minute. Haha, you adjust to it. I had to do the beep test, agility test and sprints at school all by hopping.
Thank you for continuing to do what you do. You are proof that people (like me) that have excuses for everything, should be exercising, and be more thankful for everything we have. Thanks man, and take care :) Drop and gimme 10 pressups.
You look like me. Haha. AK on my left leg. Good for you man!! Bro, we should swap shoes!
Last updated: 2013-01-11 13:35 UTC Next update: 2013-01-11 19:35 UTC
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2012.01.08 11:30 GraniteGreen For the rest of NZ, what we have learnt about Earthquakes.

Face it NZ.
The rest of you are now more likely to be clobbered by the next "Big One" than Christchurch.
So here is a brief summary of things I have learnt...
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